mo Page 430 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All White Everything: The Glorious Badness Of <i>Enter The Ninja </i>
Ninjas tend to wear all black because they want to move around in the dark without being seen, right? Like, that’s the whole point of being a ninja? I’m asking this because the hero of 1981’s Enter the Ninja is a white ninja, in both senses of the word: He’s a Caucasian man who’s become a ninja, and...
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked
If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the ga...
Children’s Ages, Ranked
I think it’s about time we started previewing some shitty NFL teams, no? That’s right: The WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS series boots up again this month, which is good, because these teams are suckier than ever. If you wanna send in a rant about why your team sucks (emphasis on YOUR team … don’t send me some...
"OMFG!": How Dale Jr. Reacted Live To Last Night's Gnarly NASCAR Wreck
Dale Earnhardt Jr. won last night’s Coke Zero 400 at Daytona, but most coverage of the race today has rightly focused on the devastating wreck that pulverized the #3 Chevy, yet miraculously left driver Austin Dillon unharmed. Here’s uncensored audio of Dale Jr.’s raw reaction to seeing the wreck in ...
You Didn't Kill Amy Winehouse, But You Didn't Save Her, Either
The cool thing about posthumous tragic-rock-star documentaries is the fresh insight from old friends and still-smitten fans and sheepish surviving accomplices, the raw intimacy of the childhood home movies and illicit backstage footage, the cheesy vintage TV appearances, the nerd arcana, and most of...
Daytona Finish Features Massive, Horrifying Wreck
Tonight’s rain-delayed Coke Zero 400 at Daytona ended in a win for Dale Earnhardt Jr. but a terrifying finish for Austin Dillon, whose car ended upside down after tearing into the catch fence as the “big one” resulted in injuries to at least three spectators but, amazingly, no drivers. Here’s video ...
Helen Mirren Reads "Where The Sidewalk Ends" In Awesome Fox Promo
Fox’s Women’s World Cup coverage has been hit or miss, but this intro featuring Academy Award-winning actress Helen Mirren reading Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends” is simply outstanding. That’s Explosions In The Sky’s “Your Hand In Mine” as the music bed....
Predictably, In Just 24 Hours, The Kings' Plans Have Gone Awry
Yesterday the Sacramento Kings made a bad trade. For the privilege of giving away two marginally useful players and thus opening up an additional $13 million in salary cap space, they had to trade to the 76ers last season’s first-round draft pick, a top-ten protected 2018 first-round draft pick, and...
Put Peas In Your Guacamole If You Want To
Once upon a time, sure as you are born, some dingus was all, “Onions?!?! In your guacamole?!?! You motherfuckers!”...
The Bucks Just Snatched Greg Monroe Away From The Knicks And Lakers
For days, we’ve been hearing about how the New York Knicks were targeting free-agent power forward Greg Monroe, so this morning’s report that Monroe has chosen to sign a max contract with the Milwaukee Bucks comes as a bit of a surprise....
Jet Li's <i>Fist of Legend </i>Is One Of The Best Fight Movies Ever Made
In the very first scene of Fist of Legend, a group of Japanese karate students burst into a college engineering classroom. They’re mad because there’s one Chinese student in the class, and they think Japan should be for Japanese people only. Their idea, I guess, is that they’re going to find that on...
Phil Kessel And Leafs Fans Deserve Better Than The Toronto Media
The only value in the Steve Simmons column that everyone’s talking about this morning is the news that Phil Kessel eats a street hot dog every damn day. Personally, I think that’s funny and humanizing. Toronto’s troll-columnist-in-chief uses it as a fat joke, and exhibit A in the case for Kessel bei...
<i>Magic Mike XXL </i>Wants To Be A Feminist Fantasy, And Almost Succeeds
I was fully prepared for the bulges, for the leather thongs that wagged and bounced with every pelvic thrust from one of Magic Mike XXL’s stripper superheroes. I was ready for the more impromptu gyrations, too, like when Mike uses his rippling arms to drill nails into a workshop table, or when the c...
Maybe <i>Creed </i>Can Help Everyone Forget About <i>Rocky Balboa</i>
Rocky Balboa, the sixth of the Rocky movies, may have been financially successful and critically acceptable, but man, it felt really dated with a 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone shuffling around with Antonio Tarver. Creed is clearly intent on extending the franchise with a new, young boxing protagoni...
Reports: GM Jerry Dipoto Forced Out in Anaheim
Jerry Dipoto has learned an inviolable rule of working for the Angels: get into a power struggle with Arte Moreno’s guy, and you’re not going to win it. According to multiple reports, the Anaheim GM resigned and packed up his office last night....
What Happens If Someone Dies During The Hot Dog Eating Contest?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering pretzels, Canada, prom boning, and more....
Marshawn Lynch Dives Into "End Zone" Full Of Skittles On <i>Conan</i>
The notably media-reluctant Marshawn Lynch has been popping up on TV a bit more in the offseason, and was Conan O’Brien’s guest tonight as the late night talker set up an “end zone” full of Skittles for the star running back to dive backward into. He even did his signature dick grab....
Report: Phil Mickelson Connected To $2.75 Million Money Laundering Case
Phil Mickelson’s money was at the heart of a recently concluded federal money laundering case, according to ESPN’s Outside the Lines. OTL reports on the case of Gregory Silveira, who plead guilty last week to money laundering charges for moving $2.75 million through multiple bank accounts in an ille...