mo Page 742 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody Put The 49ers Out Of Their Misery
It seems kind of crazy, in retrospect, that anyone could have thought the 49ers were going to make some sort of leap this year. (Some idiots even picked them to win the division.) The biggest disappointment is that Mike Nolan is now looking so damned sharp for no good reason. What happened to these ...

The Dullest MNF Game Of Them All
It's not easy to come up with reasons to get excited about tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. We've been trying....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you are chased by talking trees and flying monkeys ... • NFL: 49ers at Seahawks. For perhaps the only time, we wish Frank TV were here. [ESPN] • College basketball: New Mexico State at Duke; Youngstown State at UCLA. PenguinMania that grips the nation will only increase following th...

The NFC Is Delicious And Nutritional
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

The Gripping Ravens Quarterback Controversy
Say what you will about how bad Steve McNair has been this year … but it sure beats Kyle Boller. For Ravens fans, we can't imagine how depressing this sideline cutaway must be....

About Last Night
What you missed while droppin' a deuce up on the roof ... • NHL: Roenick scores his 500th career goal with a child on his back. • College Football: LSU destroys LA Tech, eyes that number one spot! (Woo, hey!) • NBA: Brandon Roy has career best 32, ends Blazers losing streak to Mavs....


About Last Night
What you missed while analyzing gRAPhs ... • NBA: Yao's Rockets beat Yi's Bucks. China politely applauds. • NHL: I hope the Discovery Channel caught this: Ducks defeat Sharks in shootout. • College Football: Rutgers Ray Rice rushes for rool-record. Hey, alliteration!...

Who Will Be Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster In 2008?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Feel free to email him your thoughts....

Anything That Doesn't Require Watching The Game
By the way, athletes are always being hammered for having "contract years," in which they play harder when they know they're going to be a free agent. Shouldn't Brian Billick have to give back part of the contract extension he got last year? That team's offense has never, ever gotten better, and now...

Ground Bacon Burgers For All
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy. • The waitress this week is Muff Stubble Girl, who you might recall from past Smorgasbords this season. I shouldn't call her that anymore ... one, because it's not very nice, and two, because her pants are at a reasonably normal level these d...

Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...

Wahoo, You're Dead
Boss mentioned this casket- and urn-producing company in a Blogdome over a year ago, so you probably all remember it vividly, which means this post is a repeat. Does your loved one need a Major League Baseball logo emblazoned on their casket or urn? Is your loved one a Cleveland Indians fan? Until r...

Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....

As Close As We Come To A Vacation
The last time we took a day off, Nick Saban announced he was headed to Alabama, Bill Cowher left the Steelers and a young man named A.J. Daulerio bought his plane ticket to head to the Super Bowl. How young we were! How little we knew!...

High School Football: Gayer Than Gay?
This isn't easy to say so we're just going to say it: According to a new survey, one third of former high school football players have had sexual relations with other men. That's according to a new study to be published in the Journal of Sex Roles, which I totally just read by accident, and that's t...

Seriously, They Still Use The Term "Gunslinger"
Leave it to Monday Night Football to take a vintage Brett Favre moment, his overtime game-winning touchdown over the Broncos last night, and turn it into yet another exercise in overpromotion....

At Last, A Competitive October Game In Denver
Well, if the World Series sweep had one benefit, at least there's not going to be a massive traffic jam in Denver tonight. There's that....