mo Page 774 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Not Taunt West Virginia Fans
We always feel bad for college journalists who stumble across shitstorms; when we worked for our college newspaper, we just wanted to type a bit and then get out in time to drink until dawn. We wanted no trouble....
Poll Results: Super-Size New Mexico!
You have spoken, dear readers, and it's perhaps little surprise that you'd be most afraid to run into Marcus "New Mexico" Vick at your local McDonald's. You know what's cool, though? He has a THUG LIFE tattoo across his McRib....
Poll: Whom Do You Least Want To Run Into At McDonald's?
We still haven't quite come to terms with the bat-shit crazy weirdness of Marcus "New Mexico" Vick whipping out a gun at McDonald's the day after he declared for the NFL Draft, but it did get us to thinking: We haven't been to McDonald's for a long, long time. At first, we thought it was because w...
How To Motivate Your Goalie
We've all thought it, particularly when watching games involving the Devil Rays, the Knicks or the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals: We'd have to be able to do better than these idiots, right? During a Montreal Canadiens practice yesterday, one idiot acted on just that....
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....
Palmeiro Gets His Family Circus On
Remember during the steroid trials, when Sammy Sosa inexplicably forgot how to speak english? Rafael Palmeiro, albeit a few months late, apparently is trying to same tactic....
Jim Mora, Blowin' Up!
Four days after his outburst following the Falcons' playoff hopes-ending loss to Tampa Bay last week, Atlanta coach Jim Mora Jr. is still doing damage control. In case you missed it, Mora, doing a radio interview with the Falcons' affiliate after the game, flipped out after being asked about a que...
The "End" Of Monday Night Football
Like most people who watched last night's typically dull "Monday Night Football" finale, we enjoyed all the old clips from years past, the Howard Cosells, the Dandy Dons, the O.J. Simpsons, oh, how we loved the O.J. Simpsons. (And of course, Dennis Miller, whose "dark" sarcastic edge was wasted by...
"It's 20 Extra Bucks For A Happy Ending"
We run this unusually large photo of new Yankee center fielder/apparent masseuse Johnny Damon, recently shorn to play for the Bombers, because, well, because sometimes, Deadspin likes to pretend it's a snuff site....
Well, They're Handling This Well
In case you were wondering how Red Sox fans are dealing with Johnny Damon's exodus to the Yankees ......
Johnny Damon Is Still Gone
Just to be mean, the New York Post ran this photo illustration on its back page today, and we officially enter Day 2 of the Johnny Damon to the Yankees story: Acceptance. Red Sox fans are having trouble with the move, including one saying, "enjoy your corporate haircut, Johnny: You're dead to me."...
Johnny Damon, It's Shearing Time
See that? That's how Johnny Damon's gonna look from now on: Shaved, shorn and in pinstripes. We, for one, are relieved; this greatly decreases the possibility of Fever Pitch 2....
Fred Smoot Is Depressed
Well, here's a surprise: Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot has had a little different first year with the Vikings than he initially thought he would. (Not to be crude, but, uh, "holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women" is a phrase tha...
The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...
Setting The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego @ Indianapolis. Today, they settle it once and for all: Manning or Leaf? • Pittsburgh @ Minnesota. It's too bad that Minnesota only plays once today, because Fred Smoot really prefers the doubleheader. Major playoff implications here. • Arizona @ Houston. Because Christmas is a time when...
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...
Choose Bill Simmons' Next Move
We've been accused, in polite circles, of being too nice to Our Boy Bill Simmons and, in not-so-polite ones, of "kissing his ass." We don't quite understand this; we make fun of Simmons as much as any non-"Cold Pizza" employee. We think it's because the rest of the Web has made it a mission, it se...
Athlete Run-Ins: Joe Morgan's Tiny Finger
Today's first athlete run-in story is about everybody's favorite ESPN baseball analyst Joe Morgan. We're as shocked as you to hear he might be a bit of a jerk in public....