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The Great Debates tournament: Round of 32
Alright, things are heating up for those of you who understand the concept. The big-name debates largely rolled on with a couple of alliterative exceptions as Rest vs. Rust and Nature vs. Nurture were ousted. ...
These Are The Sports Films That Should Have Already Been Made
Scrolling endlessly through Netflix and HBO, looking for new movies to watch, sparked an idea: What are the movies I would definitely watch, but haven’t been made yet?...
You're Not Going To Remember Any Of This Shit: <i>Joker,</i> Reviewed
“The feeling that the future does not exist, that it is only more of the same, means all utopias are meaningless. Literature has always been relegated to utopia, so when utopia loses meaning, so does literature.”...
You'll Love <i>Ad Astra</i> If You Just Want To Spend Two Hours In Space With A Sad Guy
Ad Astra is a movie principally concerned with two questions: How do you cope with and overcome the psychological trauma of turning into your taciturn, emotionally remote father? And what if space turns out to be mostly bullshit?...
Okay, Maybe That's Enough <i>Fast And Furiouses</i> For Now
One of the earliest signs that the Fast and Furious film franchise has finally flown too close to the sun comes within the first 10 minutes of Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, the ninth installment in the now 18-year-old series....
<i>Once Upon A Time In Hollywood</i> Is A Fun Movie About Making Shit Up
In 1992, when I would have been 11 years old or so, I went with my family to the theater to see the movie Radio Flyer, starring Elijah Wood and the annoying dinosaur enthusiast kid from Jurassic Park (Joseph Mazzello) as brothers in an abusive household in... probably the late 1950s or early 1960s? ...
Boban Marjanovic, Who Was Very Pumped To Be In <i>John Wick 3</i>, Kicked A Stuntman Very Far
Over at the Wall Street Journal, Ben Cohen has an extremely enjoyable breakdown of Boban Marjanovic’s star turn in John Wick 3. At 7-foot-3 and 290 pounds, Boban, then with the Clippers, was handpicked to play a large assassin in a library fight scene alongside Keanu Reeves—and for much of the shoot...
Jazzy Ellis Was A Teacher Who Wanted To Be Set On Fire, So She Became A Stuntwoman
Jazzy Ellis got an Ivy League education, became a teacher, and then left to fulfill everything on her bucket list the only way she knew how: by becoming a stunt performer. ...
LeSean McCoy Spoiled <i>Avengers: Endgame</i> For A Lot Of People
I, however, will not. This blog is safe....
Let's Catch Up On The State Of The Marvel Cinematic Universe In Time For <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Hello friends! As you’re well aware by now, Avengers: Endgame opens in theaters this weekend, finally bringing to a—uh, well, not a close or a conclusion, but uh like some kind of large-scale branding transition for Disney and its Marvel Studios subsidiary, where they will arbitrarily plant a flag a...
If You Want To Know What Happens In That Leaked <i>Avengers: Endgame</i> Footage, Here You Go
WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT A JOKE....
They’re Gonna Fuck Up This New <i>Joker</i> Movie And I’m Already Annoyed
In theory, I am the ideal target audience for this new Joker trailer because I am the kind of broad-minded jackass who would shell out $12 for anything Joker-related, and because I’m one of five people who won’t openly recoil at the idea of a gritty PG-13 Joker origin story shot exclusively as an ho...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2019 Oscars
I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around ...
Colonel Rob, Legendary Advocate For Sleaze, Is Dead
Robert “Colonel Rob” Schaffner, an L.A. outsider art deity and the guy who got Heavy Metal Parking Lot to whatever masses it got to, is dead....
Boban Marjanovic Gets Wrecked With A Book In The New <i>John Wick</i> Trailer
When basketball giant Boban Marjanovic was named among the cast in the next installment of the John Wick franchise, I feared that his cameo would be a forgettable one. Maybe he’d be spotted sipping champagne in a dark corner of a European night club, or at best be a faceless goon who catches a bulle...
The Best Things We Watched In 2018
I’m a sucker for any show about a bunch of flawed misfits working together for some common goal—Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Community, Veep, you name it. And no show in 2018 stuck together a more lovable, broken, inspiring group than NBC’s The Good Place, a half-hour comedy/sci-fi/philosophy lesson th...
<i>A Christmas Story</i> Subplots, Ranked
Christmas feels incomplete without at least four-to-six partial viewings of A Christmas Story, Bob Clark’s 1983 movie based on Jean Shepherd’s semi-autobiographical stories. By now, if you have a heart, you’ve seen each segment and running subplot dozens of times. But which are the best? And which a...
Over at the Atlantic, Adam Serwer wrote about how the character of heavyweight champion Apollo Creed was treated as a stand-in so audiences could receive the fantasy of Muhammad Ali getting whooped, and how Creed changed that. Use it as an excuse to watch Eddie Murphy’s bit on Rocky. [The Atlantic...
Which NBA Team Is Most Like Your Favorite NBA Team?
It’s almost time for the tip-off of the new basketball season, and you know what that means: It’s time to point out that not only does the NBA exist, but that other things also exist. A few outlets have already beaten us to the punch here, imagining NBA teams as rom-coms or TV shows or fake movies, ...
<i>Free Solo</i>, The Alex Honnold Documentary, Is The Year's Most Disturbing Movie
Over the first 12,000 or so years after Yosemite National Park’s El Capitan wall was scoured out by glaciers, no human had ever climbed up it without a rope. Then, last year, Alex Honnold scaled the 3,000-foot monolith without assistance of any kind. It is an utterly elemental human achievement, and...