nba Page 650 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Could You Beat Kobe In Beer Pong?
I was about to go to bed the other night when my wife let me know that, earlier in the day, she had found an enormous spider right under my pillow....

This Evening: A Taiwanese Kid Steals The Ball From LeBron James And Dunks On Him
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 15, the day we finally learned how to be a future super jock. Video via CBSSports.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...

Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...

Kendrick Perkins Charged With Being Drunk-And-Disorderly In Texas
It's been a rough day and a half for Kendrick Perkins. First, on a Thursday night when the locked-out Oklahoma City Thunder big man was slated to host former Celtics teammate Rajon Rondo "at an autograph signing at the Mid County Chick-Fil-A restaurant ... to help raise money for the Port Arthur Li...

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...

Dennis Rodman's Gym Class Would Like Him To Hurry Up And Finish At The Hall Of Fame
Your morning roundup for Aug. 12, the day after a 15-year-old app developer would have been better off leaving well enough alone. Photo via AP. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

When American Legion Baseball Players Attack
The worst part of this brawl video between American Legion teams from Cherryville, NC and Douglasville, Ga.? You can see the Cherryville run scorer say something to the Douglasville catcher — presumably something like "Cherryville rules!" — but you can't really see the ball the catcher threw at th...

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....

LeBron James Urges Americans To "Take A Sheet" At The Mall
Maybe you saw the ads during the NBA playoffs when LeBron James put some kind of radioactive-looking flavor strip on his tongue and nodded sagaciously. The strips are called Sheets. They contain as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, along with a few vitamins so we can all pretend this isn't a bad i...

Five For Fighting: Comics Vs. Hecklers
There are hecklers at almost every comedy show. They are not to be encouraged and never welcome. They are a nuisance. They change the rhythm of the show because they want attention....

Envisioning The Death Of The NBA
I have a lingering personal defect, which is that I always, without fail, overestimate the power of both staplers and hole punchers. If I have a stack of 50 pages that I need stapled and I see a tinyass Swingline stapler and I'm like, "NO PROBLEMO." Then I go to staple the pages together and the sta...

"Your Dad Was A Shitty NBA Player." My Ill-Fated Showdown With A Teenaged Kobe Bryant
In June of 1995, I turned 16 and had a massive growth spurt. In about two months I grew from 6-1 to 6-5. For most of the summer I walked around my house in Upper Darby, Penn., with ice packs on my knees because of growing pains. By early August, I returned to our local court with a newfound ability:...

Look Alive, Or Brandon Jennings Might Completely Embarrass You
Your morning roundup for Aug. 8, the day we learned the mile-high club extended to the cockpit. Video via SLAM Online. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Cockblocked By J.R. Smith!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's Video Of Michael Beasley "Mushing" A Fan At A New York City Park Last Night
We learned a new word today: mushing. A mush is when a person puts a hand directly onto another person's face and pushes him or her backward. Minnesota's Michael Beasley "mushed" a heckling fan at New York City's Dyckman Park last night. The incident is not expected to help his job security....

This Evening: Try Not To Look As Bashful As Stephen Curry
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 4, the day we learned where hipsters came from. Photo via The Basketball Jones. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

James Dolan In Concert, Performing "Fix The Knicks"
Dolan, lead singer of JD and the Straight Shot, is a true singer-songwriter. He writes from the heart. He writes what he knows. Basically, he writes about people yelling at him all the time for doing such a shitty job running the Knicks....

Who Tries To Board An Airplane With A Loaded Gun? Darius Miles, That's Who
"Miles, 29, was arrested about 3:30 p.m. after Transportation Security Administration personnel discovered the weapon during an X-ray screening at the airport, according to information from a TSA spokeswoman and a jail official. ... It was unclear whether the gun was found in luggage or whether Mil...