nba Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A-Rod Finally Worth $252 Million To The Texas Rangers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Salley Story Corner: Rookie Hazing, Bad Boy Style
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: A rookie gets the treatment....

ESPN Manages To Shit On Cleveland Yet Again
ESPN The Magazine is using Marvel Comics covers to preview the NBA season. A lot of them are pretty neat. But did they really have to cockpunch Cavs fans here too?...

Dwight Howard Could Probably Be In One Of Orlando's Top 15 Wedding Bands
Dwight Howard: fearsome defender, likable enough guy, and...cover band front man. Yes, that's right. Dwight—with a full child-backed band—is releasing an album of covers from illustrious acts like The Black Eyed Peas and Smash Mouth. It's terrible. [Sparty and Friends]...

Sad Pistons Can't Even Put Together A Real Cheering Section
How bad are things in the Motor City if the Pistons can only get 11 people to show up to tryout for their new cheering section that's giving away free tickets? Somehow this is Tracy McGrady's fault. [The Detroit News]...

Our Resident Sex Addict Settles A Bet Regarding Decuple Penetration
Before we get to the funbag, a quick announcement: From now on, every funbag will end with the Email Of The Week. The person who sends the winning email each week gets a prize. IT'S TRUE! Not only do you get to experience the glory of being immortalized forever in funbag form, but you also get a ran...

Everything That's Wrong With College Tailgates In One Picture
This picture, snapped sometime before Saturday's Ohio State-Wisconsin game, is so, so bad, it has to be a joke. Right?...

Here's A Rockwellian Picture Of Lebron At A Sneaker-Release Event
The "Lebron 8 South Beach" Nikes were released yesterday. Lebron signed basketballs for children. Nike will charge $160 a pair. Oh, is that Lebron's mother Gloria sitting on the ground behind him in a flowing white dress?...

Here's The Last Picture Taken Of A Former President Before Nolan Ryan Turned On Him With Arms Named "Power" and "Glory"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Funbag Bonus: Did The Chilean Miners Masturbate?
The Chilean miners were all rescued, free now to breathe in air and have their medical benefits cut off three weeks from now. But screw that: Wuz they jackin' it?...

John Salley Story Corner: All Rub, No Tug From The Hotel Masseuse
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: when massages go technically right....

Kevin Martin: Shooting Guard, Housing Bubble Burstee
Kevin Martin—who will earn $10.6 million this season—has an unorthodox shooting motion and it appears an unorthodox method of paying his mortgage—not paying it. He's defaulted on the loan for his house in suburban Sacramento. [Sacramento Bee]...

We Fined Gilbert Arenas For Being A Liar, Says Wizards Coach
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Wizards coach Flip Saunders....

Last Night's Winner: David Stern's Excessive Complaining
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like David Stern, who, in advance of NBA labor negotiations, is making vague Rovian noises about cracking down on "excessive complaining."...

Horrible Spoof Video Faceoff: "Teach Me How To Bucky" vs. "Teach Me How To Duckie"
I can't even work up the energy to make snarky comments about either of these. I'll just leave them here, where hopefully, they'll never escape....

Vlade And Drazen Sitting In A Tree, U-N-I-T-I-N-G (The Balkans)
The "30 For 30" about Vlade Divac And Drazen Petrovic premieres tonight. It's called Once Brothers, and depending on who you ask, it's either powerful or tripe. Quality aside, we'll be watching because we like Vlade and Drazen....

Does Breast Cancer Unfairly Hog The Cancer Spotlight?
Your letters:...

Everybody Passes Out Now And Then, Says Mavericks GM
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mavericks GM Donnie Nelson....

Allen Iverson Recognizes The Sad Truth About Allen Iverson
Strange as it still is to see Iverson in his Memphis (or Denver or Detroit) jersey, it'll be stranger to see him playing in Turkey this season. But it almost didn't happen, thanks to AI's admission that he just can't control himself....