The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•It was close, and required instant replay and slippery turf, but the Packers held off Bret Favre and the Vikings to keep pace in the NFC North. Minnesota also kept pace. With the Lions.

•Where have we seen this before? Kevin Kolb played poorly enough in the last of his three starts that Michael Vick will be back behind center after Philly's bye week. Maybe. Andy Reid has two weeks to change his mind.

•It's BCS standings time! Auburn vaults to number one, while Oregon remains at two. The Ducks can't crack the top spot despite being tops in the human polls, but lets be thankful for the computer rankings; otherwise, Notre Dame would probably be somewhere up there.

•Allen Iverson has reportedly agreed to terms with a Turkish basketball team. He wasn't sure if he wanted to alienate fans in Europe or Asia, so he chose both.

•Bonus pumpkin fun! After Oakland scored a team-record 59 points, this was posted with the title "Good game Broncos." ( via Twitter h/t Jovan J)

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Okay. Back to work.