nba Page 698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watching The Watchmen: Tim Donaghy Breaks Down The Officiating In Game 1
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 1, with accompanying video....

Dustin Hoffman And Jason Bateman Smooch It Up On Staples Center Kiss Cam
Runaway Jury star Dustin Hoffman and Smokin' Aces thesp Jason Bateman sat beside each other at last night's game and appeared together on the kiss cam. Immediately afterwards, the Celtics fan behind them became violently ill on his common law wife. [DListed]...

Who Does Rasheed Wallace Have To Kick In The Head To Get A Technical?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Celtics-Lakers To Decide Which Is The Best Franchise Ever Of The 2009-10 Season
Use this space to discuss the hugely important stakes of yet another Celtics-Lakers NBA championship. Place some bets about which of his films Jack Nicholson's smirk will be reminiscent of. I'm going with Wolf....

Read Two Smart Fellows Completely Dismantle A Sports Guy Column
Slate's Josh Levin and Tom Scocca had themselves a nice chat about Bill Simmons's latest, an NBA Finals Preview. Spoilers: They aren't fans. [Scocca]...

The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...

LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....

Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...

LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...

The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...

Thanks To Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian Will Get Beer Thrown On Her If She Goes To Boston
"They gave it to my kids last time in Boston...[I] don't know how my wife is going to be able to sit in the crowd," Odom said, later adding that security might be needed."[OC Register via SBB]...

LeBron Watch, Day 12: What The Cavs Will Do About The Delonte West-Gloria James Rumor
Was there any truth to the rumor that Delonte West and LeBron's mom, uh, you know? Two Cleveland insiders disagree on what happened, but no matter what, there's only one way for the Cavs to handle it....

LA Times Writer Kicks Off Finals Fever With Questionable Paul-Pierce-Stabbing "Joke"
Championships are great. They force cities to lambaste other cities, get mayors to make cutesy bets with each other and let writers fire up the ol' Template-O-Tron 5000 and write "Guide to Hating [Opponent]" columns. The LA Times's Ted Green began early....

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Watch The Citadel And Elon University Baseball Teams Pound Each Other Mercilessly
Last night, Dash clued you in to the epic brawl between The Citadel and Elon's baseball teams. Here's the video for all of you that were too lazy to click a link. Tuck in that shirt while you're at it....

Alvin Gentry Loses His Lunch (And Now No One Is Hungry)
What is going on with sports TV tonight? Someone must have spiked his porkchop....

Starbucks Promotion Turned Into Yet Another SuperSonics Protest
The coffee giant's "We love you Seattle" Facebook page is under siege from angry NBA lovers, because they blame CEO Howard Schultz for selling off their beloved team. Yep, Sonics fans are never letting this one go. [SunBreak]...

In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...

Last Night's Winner: The Rules, Technically (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NBA schoolmarms, who time and again toughen up the rulebook to improve the league's cosmetics and who time and again wind up screwing with the game itself....

<em>Space Jam</em>: Shameless Corporate Product, Or Sacred Creation Myth?
Everyone knows the timeless tale of Space Jam, in which our Lapine and human friends join forces to ward off the Moron Mountain Monstars. But does it have anything to do with the Mayans' most holy text? One scholar says...maybe....