nba Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....

Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....

LeBron Watch, Day 49: The Day We All Became Witnesses
At 9 p.m., the long-running soap opera over LeBron James's free agency will end, cementing the fact that the King's ego — not the things he does on the court — has become his defining characteristic....

Let's Watch A City's Heart Break, Together
Your assignment: go on the CavFanatic message boards and find the most delusional, bitter or heartwrenching posts. Put them in the comments or send them to me, and I'll compile the best ones later on. [CavFanatic]...

The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....

LeBron To Announce Decision Via Twitter?
@kingjames lies dormant. "Wednesday," some say. He shall speak, and we shall behold. #Witness....

Weekend Winner: Free Agents Breaking The Bank
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NBA free agents, who are just flat out getting paid. I thought we were headed for a work stoppage? Actually, that's probably why these contracts are flying....

Dwyane Wade Makes Loyal Fans Feel Like Kicked Puppies
This is just about the saddest thing ever. A bunch of Heat fans woke up ass-early to greet Wade at the airport after returning from his free agent visits. He flew in to a different terminal, standing them all up....

Here's The NBA All-Star Game Edited To Look Like A Soccer Game, Complete With Spanish Guy Flopping
If you've ever wondered what basketball would be like if it were as low-scoring and anticlimactic as soccer, this is the video for you. [Urlesque]...

And Now, An Appreciation Of The Bra
I went to the doctor the other day. I was sentenced to wait in one of the examination rooms for roughly 90 minutes while the doctor played CALL OF DUTY in the next room over under the guise of supposedly saving other people's lives, or some bullshit like that. Anyway, they had the reflex tester layi...

LeBron Watch, Day 42: Two Reasons LeBron Can't Leave Cleveland
Turn off ESPN. Fold the newspaper. Ignore talk radio. Until LeBron signs somewhere, all of the experts are going to blather on that they "know" where LeBron is going. Save your time. Read this instead. ...

Last Night's Winner: NBA Nerds
In sports, everyone is winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who actually care about NBA free agency. You did it. You've arrived. Go ahead and start annoying everyone with your "official" guesses....

This Free-Agency Business Will Make A Lot More Sense After Tonight, Maybe
Where are those three guys going? No one knows for sure, but it's been a lot of fun speculating wildly and laughing at others' predictions, hasn't it?...

Confusing Chinese Yao Ming Ad Here To Befuddle Us All
This ad, featuring crudely drawn and out-of-proportion representations of Yao Ming, Wang Zhizhi, and Yi Jianlian, is for Chinese manufacturing conglomerate GMC and oddly enough appeared in today's Wall Street Journal. Expect the Rockets to run this on in-bounds plays. [Copyranter]...

Chad Ford Reduces LeBron Sweepstakes To Their Absurd Essence
It was Chad Ford who kickstarted the LeBron-to-Chicago talk, and now, a month-and-a-half later, as we career toward LeDefcon 1, it is Chad Ford who brings the conversation to its natural endpoint: quoting a waiter in a Chicago steakhouse....

Private Stache: Dutch Lovin'
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Realistic Memphis Fan Resigned To His Fate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
