nba Page 713 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No One Likes Donald Sterling, Part 783 (UPDATE)
The league has no plans to discipline, comment on or even cough pointedly in the direction of Sterling, so activists are passing around a protest petition that David Stern can blithely ignore, too. Faaantastic!...

Tomorrow: Live Chat With A <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Writer Who's Actually Familiar With The Internet
Chris Ballard, SI wordsmith and author of The Art of a Beautiful Game: The Thinking Fan's Tour of the NBA will be here (and not some Geocities page at the far end of the Internet) at 1 p.m. Join us....

The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com]...

Zach Randolph's Head Continues To Wreak Havoc
Just seven games into his pro career, Grizzlies rookie Hasheem Thabeet breaks his jaw after running into his teammate's rather prodigious melon. Can you eat Memphis BBQ through a straw? [Photo via Memphis Commercial Appeal]...

He Got You, My Pretty
Former Wisconsin Badger Darin Schubring lost a bar fight was sucker-punched by a man wearing a Flying Monkey costume. That's slightly more embarrassing than being referred to, 25 years later, as "Baraboo local legend." But only slightly. [Baraboo News Republic]...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Has Rare Form Of Leukemia
Tell your old man to drag chronic myeloid leukemia up and down the floor for the last year. The good news is that Kareem got a sponsorship deal with the company that makes his medication, so free drugs! [NYTimes/ESPN]...

Kiss Dick Bavetta Goodbye?
Bavetta, the Barkley-kissing ref suspected of involvement in pretty much every conspiracy dating back to the assassination of Caesar, says he might retire at season's end. At least, that's what David Stern told him to say. [Orlando Sentinel, via Slam]...

Ever Dream Of Shaq? You're Not Alone
In the grand tradition of experimental Dirk Nowitzki fiction, we bring you something we can't explain. Student art project? Ramblings of a madman? Signs of the impending Ashaqalypse? Check your sanity at the door....

Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...

Donald Sterling Continues To Get Away With Being The Most Evil Man In Sports
Racist greedhead Donald Sterling will pay $2.73 million to settle a federal housing bias lawsuit accusing him of all kinds of sleazy and thuggish behavior, none of which matters in David Stern's NBA if you're an owner....

Chris Dudley Will Rebuild Oregon Brick By Brick
The former NBA "big man" is running for governor of Oregon, as a Republican. "He's a solid guy, and Oregonians know that." If by "solid," you mean he played the post like he had lead feet, then yeah. [AP]...

Mary Carey Tells The World How Dwight Howard Tried To Woo Her With His Penis
KHTK Radio has a delightfully daffy interview with the pornstress/gubernatorial candidate/celebrity rehabber, where she reveals that a starry-eyed Dwight Howard once showed up at her then boyfriend's house to profess his undying lust for her by unzipping his pants. [SBBviaSRI]...

Starbury Is Scurred Of Haints
Marbury spent an evening parked outside a New York haunted house signing autographs, but said he was "way too scared" to actually go inside. No, it wasn't Madison Square Garden. [NY Post]...

Popeye Jones Arrested, Gets Free Makeover From Police
Former Maverick draft pick and current Dallas assistant Popeye Jones was popped himself this weekend—nailed with a DUI and the nailed in the face when he resisted arrest. Ahhh, that's justice ... Texas style!...

Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile
The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News]...

Owning A Russian Basketball Team Can Be Hazardous To Your Health
If future Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov ever invites you to watch a game in the owner's box, don't accept. Not only will you be stuck watching the Nets, there's a decent chance you'll be caught up in an assassination attempt....

J.J. Redick's Got A Rap Album
Of course he does. The Magic guard will be heading a "supergroup," which is a generous term when Jonathan Clay Redick is the most famous member....

Starbury And The Knicks, Together In Fail For Eternity
Stephon, true to his word, bought a ticket and sat in the front row at the Knicks game last night. But he was asked to leave, because the ticket he bought wasn't for the front row. Nothing ever changes....

Argentina Tops Transylvania In Batsketball
Manu Ginobili's line: 13 points, three assists, one rebound, and one dead bat. You have to watch this one....