nba Page 714 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jumping Out Of A Plane Trumps Lesbian Hooker Dildo Shows
I went to a skydiving center this past weekend. I jumped and was a complete pussy all the way down (that's me staring wistfully back at the plane). The full story will be in Penthouse magazine sometime this summer. I never knew how much skydiving cost, so I asked the lady the normal fee for jumping ...
The Hedo Turkoglu Google-Commercial Parody Is Here To Creep You Out
This "parody" of those Google Search Story commercials is weird, to say the least, and bordering on bat-shit insane, to say more. While Turkoglu's been a bit of a disappointment this year, it's no reason to eat him. [YouTube]...
To Sit Or Not To Sit: Do Players Owe Fans Anything?
It's that time of year again: The time when NBA teams, secure in their playoff destiny, start phoning in their remaining regular season games. But are these millionaires really just robbing you, John Q. Slob, of your hard-earned minimum wages?...
Hits This Year? Jay Bruce Can Count 'Em On Two Middle Fingers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Today In "Holy Crap, This Guy Is Buying An NBA Team": Prokhorov Does Business With A Dictator
New Jersey legislator Bill Pascrell Jr. is calling for an inquiry that into the sale of the Nets because prospective owner Mikhail Prokhorov may or may not have done business with reigning Dictator of the Year, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe. Of course....
Chaos In Chicagoland: Just Who's In Charge Here?
The Bulls are on the wrong side of the tiebreaker for the last playoff spot in the East. It might not even matter for Vinny Del Negro's job security, after a very public disagreement with management over Joakim Noah's usage....
You Should Be Watching Hockey This Weekend, Seriously
Remember when everyone was so into hockey that time? Ha! But there's plenty to love: the NCAA championship, an NHL playoff berth battle, and oh yeah, some Slovenian hockey players who won their league title then beat up their coach!...
Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....
Praying For Car Accidents Is OK!
Big doings here at the funbag. Next week we'll be doing a bonus audio version of the funbag (Don't worry, the two regular ones will still run) with a very, very special Deadcast guest. So send in only your finest retarded questions about poop, boners, and snacking if you want in. Now, your letters....
What Did Kevin Durant Want Behind ESPN's Firewall?
This afternoon, Durant put out the call on Twitter for help getting to something on ESPN.com Insider. But what was it that Durant was so excited to read? We have ideas....
Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....
Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...
When Is This Pussy Gonna Try Coaching Dudes?
It's been in the 80s here in DC this week, which means this is the first time this year I've been able to bust out the shorts. And when you bust out the shorts, that means it is, once again, open season on bareball nut scratching. All winter long, I gotta scratch my nuts by digging into my jeans. NO...
Andray Blatche Really, Really Wanted That Triple-Double
We like to think players are so caught up in the game that they don't notice when they're approaching a statistical accomplishment. It's not true. Here's Andray Blatche doing everything humanly possible to get his 10th rebound....
Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....
In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...
Kevin Garnett: "We Were Playing Michael Fucking Jordan"
A live mic and a player upset with the officiating always make for an interesting combo. Kevin Garnett did not disappoint:...
Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...
Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...
Correction: Mikhail Prokhorov Is Your New Favorite Sports Billionaire
Last week, we pondered whether software tycoon Larry Ellison would soon become the NBA's craziest billionaire owner. Not a chance, once Mike "Mad Dog" Prokhorov suits up for the New Jersey Nets....