nba Page 774 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Child About To Become Somewhat Less Smelly
When we were a kid, we had a T-shirt that said "I Root For Two Teams: The Cardinals And Whoever Plays The Cubs." We found this shirt incredibly clever when we were 10, and we wore it pretty much every other day. But couldn't hold a candle to 11-year-old David Witthoft of Connecticut....
Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...
Chris Bosh, Having Fun With The Internets
We support the Raptors' Chris Bosh and his (or, more accurately, his handlers, and NBA.com's) attempts to get himself voted on the NBA All-Star Team. Look what Gilbert hath wraught....
Lakers Come Up A Little Short
Ha, nice shorts! It was 1980s retrospective night at the Staples Center on Sunday, the Lakers stylin' with short shorts, assistant coach Kurt Rambis sporting a fake mustache, and the Laker Girls wearing spandex. No word as to whether Nicholson dropped 25 pounds and came dressed as The Joker. (A tre...
Keep Your Motor Runnin'
The NBA Closer is written by Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or talking in the third person, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...
Blog Fight! Blog Fight!
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ......
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
Draft Kevin Durant Meets Its Namesake
You may remember the great Draft Kevin Durant site, which implored the Blazers to draft Durant over Greg Oden. One might say the pick worked out well for both the Sonics and the Blazers; the Sonics have their franchise player to take with them to Oklahoma City and the Blazers are the NBA's hottest t...
The Olive Branch Stings
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....
Scott Skiles' Christmas Present To Bulls Fans
You know it's a bad sign when you're fired on Christmas Eve, and nobody even bothers to give you the obligatory, "aw, the guy got canned right before the holidays" comments. Yeah, it's safe to say Bulls fans aren't going to miss Scott Skiles all that much....
In Portland, It's All About The Roy-Bot (And ESPN)
Rick Chandler continues to rock the NBA Closer all this week. Skeets will be back next week, though Rick's doing just fine, we think....
Kyle Orton Takes Step Toward REAL Hall Of Fame
There is some sort of perception that, somehow, we're making fun of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton for his induction in our Hall of Fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. We cheer for Orton full-heartedly and with complete sincerity; it's easy to root for a guy who's obviously having that muc...
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....
Pretend It's A Playoff Game, And The Heat Are Suddenly Good Again
Let's see if I got this right. The Miami Heat are still supposed to be good because Shaquille O'Neal is still tall, Dwyane Wade is still making commercials, and Pat Riley's hair gel also doubles as a love potion, or so claimed the highly motivated salesman and his cardboard kiosk. But even after Wad...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
Sure Beats The Kiss Cam
Unfortunately, the video above doesn't have the actual moment, though if anyone happened to catch it, we're all ears. Our favorite part, as pointed out by AA, is that the woman lists herself as a "sea captain." In Tennessee. Which is awesome....
Battle Of The Stars
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or spelunking, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Knicks End Up Not Being Worth Protesting
So the Knicks fans had that "Fire Isiah" rally yesterday afternoon — inconveniently right before the Knicks' most impressive win of the season — and the outrage in New York was palpable. And by "palpable," we mean, "about two dozen people showed up despite it taking place in one of the most highly f...