ned Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rougned Odor's New Deal With The Rangers Includes Two Horses
This afternoon, the Rangers announced that second baseman and noted face-puncher Rougned Odor had signed a six-year, $49.5 million deal to stay with the team. According to the Dallas Morning News’ Evan Grant, the Rangers also agreed to give Odor a pair of nice horsies. Odor supposedly rides every da...

Kettle Chips Flavors, Ranked
Kettle Chips are the finest chip (potato division) that one can find at almost any grocery or convenience store. What sets the mighty Kettle Chip apart from the standard potato chip is its heft and wide range of flavors on offer. Which flavors are the tastiest? Here is a semi-exhaustive guide to the...

Hi, Would You Like To See A Metaphor For The Coyotes' Season?
The 2016-17 Coyotes season highlight DVD will just be this on loop for an hour....

Kansas Goes Down In Opening Game Of Big 12 Tournament
The top-ranked Kansas Jayhawks’ run in the Big 12 Tournament lasted exactly one game, as they just got bounced by TCU in the quarterfinals. Freshman superstar Josh Jackson was suspended for the game because of a traffic citation and his involvement probably had a large say in the outcome, since Kans...

Barcelona Pull Off Greatest Champions League Comeback In History, Beat PSG 6-1
This truly is one of the craziest things that has ever happened in sports....

Seasons Where Arsenal Finished Fourth And Got Knocked Out In The Round Of 16, Ranked
Somehow, it’s only happened four times....

Shane Doan Is A Little Tired Of Seeing The Coyotes Give Up
It is an axiom that hockey players rarely have anything interesting to say. Especially once they’ve been around as long as Coyotes captain Shane Doan, they’ve mastered the ability to engage autopilot and just spout a beige stream of bromides until the reporters haranguing them for quotes have fille...

Mic'd-Up Julian Edelman Argued With Falcons Defender Over Whether He Caught That Ball
Even after all the replays and photos, it’s still hard to believe that Julian Edelman made that catch....

Julio Jones Did What He Could
Julian Edelman made a ludicrous catch last night, going to the ground to keep the ball while being tackled by three Falcons defenders, but he wasn’t the only receiver on the field making impossible catches when his team needed them most....

Julian Edelman Caught That Somehow
So, there it is, right there in the above photo. One inch, maybe two, between football and turf? Some barely countable fraction of a second that felt like it took forever as the ball hung, seemingly unmoored from gravity, precisely long enough for Julian Edelman to double-clutch. An instantly iconic...

Fox Sports Hires ESPN's Former Ad Agency In Bold Attempt To Distinguish Itself From ESPN<em></em>
Say what you will about Fox Sports, they’re consistent. Over the last several years they’ve done everything possible to establish themselves as the off-brand ESPN, from bringing in trash enthusiast/flim-flam man Jamie Horowitz to run the show to putting failed dipshits ranging from Colin Cowherd to ...

Some Apocalyptic Death Scenarios, Ranked
Clearly the End is nigh. With that in mind, and while tooling around with the NUKEMAP, the Deadspin staff discussed various apocalyptic death scenarios today, to determine which ones seem good. Here is a ranked list of some—not all!—apocalyptic death scenarios, in order from best to worst....

Borussia Dortmund Will Soon Be So Damn Good
In what has been a pretty tame January transfer window—unless Manchester United discarding spare parts gets you excited—Borussia Dortmund made perhaps the biggest splash today when they signed 17-year-old Swedish phenom Alexander Isak, along with extending the contract of the world’s future best pla...

Matt Garza Shares Opinion On Birth Control, Continues To Be A Big Dumbass
For some goddamn reason, former teen dad, father of six, and Brewers pitcher Matt Garza is saying some shit about abstinence-only education on Twitter....

Every Episode Of <i>It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia</i>, Ranked
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has been on the air since 2005, and somehow, a show about five terrible idiots who hatch insane schemes and treat each other with unabashed disdain is probably going to end up as the longest running live-action comedy series in TV history. The show is just getting i...

Kim Kardashian Just Posted An Intriguing Homage To Depictions Of Humans<em></em>
You know that feeling when you see a picture of a mother holding her baby, and you could almost swear you’re looking back in time at the late Jackie Kennedy and her then-one-year-old boy Jack Jr.?...

WMU Basketball Player Charged With Murdering Fellow Student
At around 10:30 p.m. on Dec. 8, Kalamazoo police responded to a report of a shooting near the campus of Western Michigan University. They arrived to find 19-year-old WMU student Jacob Ryan Jones dead, and a day later they arrested 20-year-old WMU basketball player Joeviair Kennedy as part of a felon...

Nine Elements Of The LeBron <i>SI </i>Cover Meant To Distract You From His Hairline, Ranked
1. Safety pin on the lapel...

Ways To Die That Are More Awful Than Dissolving In A Scalding Acid Bath, Ranked
A tourist who fancied a bath in one of Yellowstone National Park’s many geothermal pools slipped while attempting to gauge the temperature of the broth, fell into what turned out to be a deadly near-boiling acid bath, and dissolved. That is about the most metal thing I can imagine, but also he is ex...