ned Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andy Kennedy Avoids Another International Incident
Mississippi's fun-loving, cabbie-punching basketball coach pleads guilty to disorderly conduct for his drunken police adventure and will not serve jail time. Hopefully, that means Mrs. Kennedy will finally get some release. [ESPN]...
Jay-Z Defends Michael Phelps' Bong-Smoking Habits
"[A]ll these people who graduated from Princeton and Harvard, who are supposed to be pillars of the community, every day [they're] in the newspaper arrested for some kind of financial fraud." [Hip Hop DX]...
Montreal Canadiens To Feel The Power Of Celine Dion's Love
The Montreal Canadiens are for sale! And do you know who would be the perfect caretaker for this historically-gifted and beloved franchise? Canada's No. 1 shrew-like pop schmaltz siren!...
A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....
Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...
Officer Who Stopped Ryan Moats Cries No Mas, Quits Dallas PD
You've seen the video, you've marveled at the tattoo. But you won't have Dallas police officer Robert Powell to kick around anymore; his attorney announced today that Powell has resigned....
Your Yankee Superfandom Is Not Welcome
Interesting story about the paranoid corporate buffoonery of the Yankees who decided that novelist Jane Heller's "Confessions of a She-Fan" was "too controversial" to be a part of the Yankees' Opening Day commemorative program....
Raising Arizona: Wife Of Pirates' Minor Leaguer Questioned In Babynapping
Well, this is just what the Pirates needed. The wife of one of their top minor league prospects is being questioned in the apparent kidnapping of a baby from a Plant City, Fla. health clinic....
Gus Johnson Does Not Send His Compliments To The Chef
So the whole Gus-Johnson-in-handcuffs story turns out to be a "show's over people, nothing more to see here" type of deal, it appears. The CBS sportscaster wasn't arrested, and no charges were filed....
Bob Ryan's Face Refuses To Grow Old Gracefully
Legendary columnist and occasional ESPN talking head Bob Ryan was, at 63, as pruney as most people his age. But he appears to be going through an alarming transformation....
Good Things About Houston: Geoff Geary (And His Fiancée) Probably Won't Get Assaulted
Geoff Geary was (briefly) a serviceable bullpen arm for the Phillies, but the poor guy's confidence just went to shit. Luckily, The Fightins traded him for Brad Lidge and the rest is World Fucking History....
David Ortiz Is Pretty Confident He'll Pass His Tests
Or he just could use a year off: "Ortiz wants year-long ban for steroid users." [ESPN]...
Jeff Garcia Still Being Treated Like Red-Headed Quarterback
Tampa Bay has officially told him that their plans for the future do not include the 39-year-old quarterback: "It is disappointing because I enjoyed the atmosphere and the team environment in that locker room." [ESPN]...
Andy Kennedy's Wife Still Not Getting Any
As you may recall, the wife of former Cincinnati basketball coach Andy Kennedy is claiming that a pending lawsuit against a cab driver is so traumatizing that it's affecting the couple's sex life....
Yeah, I'd Imagine Vitamin Water Ad People Can't Be Too Happy With This (Update)
At an NCAA athletic conference on January 15th, it was revealed that some VitaminWater flavors contain "impermissible or banned substances", which could lead to suspensions for some athletes....
Andy Kennedy Picked The Wrong City To Punch A Cabbie In
Hey, remember when Mississippi's basketball coach got drunk and (allegedly) hate-crimed a hapless Cincinnati cab driver? That was fun. But now we can relive that wonderful evening thanks to police car camera footage!...
Scott Pioli Mercifully Pulls Plug On Herm Edwards
According to ESPN, the Chiefs coach was just fired. [ESPN]...
The Thrill Is Gone: Mississippi Coach's Wife Sues For Lack Of Sex
What do you do when your husband is no longer interested in committing lane violations in bed? Sue the bastards who ruined your sex life! Kimber Kennedy is not fooling around, one might say....
Your Trickster Magic Will Not Work On TCU
Boise State won a nation's heart with laterals and sorcery two years ago, but their days as adorbable indie princess underdogs are over....