ned Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin Classic: Madness, Glory, And The Self-Correcting Aneurysm
Four years ago, in the World Cup final, France's Zinedine Zidane defended the honor of his whore sister and ended his career in an unimaginably bizarre fashion. Afterward, David Hirshey bid a sad adieu....

Zidane Denies Orchestrating France Squad’s Rebellion
Headbutt specialist Zinedine Zidane has denied being the driving force behind the France World Cup team's decision to challenge manager Raymond Domenech's authority....

After A Rash Of Vuvuzela Injuries, We Must Ask: Is The Pope Safe?
A South African woman tore up her throat. A German man busted an eardrum — while still in Germany. Clearly, the vuvuzelas are a menace. And now they're coming for Benedict XVI....

Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation
Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside....

Austria Bans Zidane Head-Butt Adverts For Promoting Violence
Austrian telly chiefs have pulled a series of adverts showing people imitating Zinedine Zidane's infamous 2006 World Cup final attack on Marco Materazzi, claiming "they convey that violence can be used to solve conflicts"....

Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....

Jets' Courtship Of Jason Taylor Is Pissing Everyone Off
Taylor's in town to meet with Rex Ryan and company. Dolphins fans are apoplectic. Jets fans are inconsolable. This is pretty much a win-win situation for everyone....

Boorish Canadians Make Our Favorite Curler Cry
The host nation's medal count is always higher than normal for a reason: the screaming crowds that psych up the natives, and psych out the visitors. But now they've gone too far; they've made Maddy cry....

The One With The Naked Danish Curling Lady
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Last Night's Winner: Every Other Sport That's Not Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who awoke from their post Super Bowl-hangover, rubbed their eyes and realized we've got a lot of time to fill between now and September....

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

TCU, Lacking BCS Recognition, Tries A Little Branding
A TCU student is planning to sue everyone and everybody after being branded with his fraternity's letters. That student's name: Amon Carter IV. Hey, don't the Horned Frogs play in Amon G. Carter Stadium?...

This Is A Thing That Happened: Digger Phelps Dancing With A Clemson Cheerleader, And Not Badly
H/T reader Joseph A. [YouTube]...

BREAKING: Rick Reilly® Writes Decent, Heartfelt Column
It's about his friend, the late Mike Penner/Christine Daniels: "My wife, Cynthia, became her gender tour guide. ... Where to buy shoes online, what the new hormone pills would do to her, the trick of lingerie." [ESPN The Periodical]...

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....

Mike Penner Remembered, As He Should Be: A Journalist
Do yourself a favor and read the Times' obituary of Mike Penner. A sad end for someone so obviously conflicted about their life. [LA Times]...

Steeler Fan Says Bears Fans Blinded Him With Roofies
They say that you should never take a drink from stranger that you didn't see poured yourself. That goes double for Steeler fans hanging out in Chicago bars, after one poor bloke says he was poisoned by local Ditka worshipers....

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wide Receiver Drama Over: Braylon Edwards Traded, Michael Crabtree Signs
Adam Schefter woke up early today and jumped on two stories that will disappoint fans of ridiculous melodrama. Now that the Braylon Edwards saga is over in Cleveland and Michael Crabtree has ended his holdout, what will we talk about?...