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Your Orioles-Yankees And Nationals-Cardinals Open Thread
Get excited! We've got two elimination games slated for today, as both series have come down to a Game 5. Will the Orioles continue their unlikely run through the postseason? Will Natitude prevail? Will Alex Rodriguez overdose on sleeping pills in the dugout?...

Alex Rodriguez Doesn't Suck Because He Stopped Using PEDs; He Sucks Because He's Old
Alex Rodriguez will be sitting on the bench tonight when the Yankees take on the Orioles in Game 5 of the ALDS. This is because A-Rod is mired in the kind of slump that 37-year-old sluggers tend to get mired in, but there are some who want to extrapolate more meaning out of his predictable decline....

Alex Rodriguez Benched For Game 5: Where Do The Yankees Go From Here?
What a world. It's three hours before first pitch, and everyone with an internet connection is aware of the Yankees' lineup for tonight's Game 5 against Baltimore....

Once Upon A Time, The Jets Were Willing To Bench Mark Sanchez
Drew Stanton was a Jet for all of a week. He signed to be the backup to Mark Sanchez, but other events intervened. Peyton Manning decided on the Broncos, so Tim Tebow became expendable. The Jets traded for Tebow, at a not-insignificant cost in both draft pick and money, and Stanton was the odd man o...

Joe Girardi's Father Died, And The <i>New York Post</i> Seriously Fucked Up Their Headline
Today the Yankees announced that manager Joe Girardi's father passed away. Jerry Girardi had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for years, and this New Yorker article describes how Joe would make the six-hour drive to the nursing home in Illinois every time the Yankees traveled to Chicago....

Tim Tebow Is Destroying The Jets Before He Even Has A Chance To Destroy Them As A Starter
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Kobe Bryant Is Not Happy About Alex Rodriguez Being Yanked From Last Night's Game
So we all know the story by now. An embattled Alex Rodriguez gets pinch-hit for by a 40-year-old Raul Ibanez in the bottom of the ninth in a 2-1 game. Ibanez homers to tie the game, A-Rod does his part by looking joyous, and then Ibanez hits another homer in the 12th inning, giving the Yankees a 3-...

Raul Ibanez's Moonshot Home Run In The 12th Inning Wins Game 3 Of The ALDS
When Raul Ibanez was brought in to pinch-hit for Alex Rodriguez in the ninth inning, it seemed humorous—until Ibanez hit the first 9th-inning, game-tying, pinch-hit home run in Yankees postseason history. But when he hit another home run, this time to win the ballgame in the bottom of the 12th, it w...

Woody Johnson Got Flustered When A CNBC Anchor Asked Him If Tim Tebow Was Still A Virgin
The Jets held their own against the best team in football on Monday night while Mitt Romney surged in the polls, so New York owner Woody Johnson must have assumed he was on sure footing when he headed into CNBC's coked-up Squawk Box earlier today. After the usual Mark Sanchez chat, Johnson faced a...

How The NFL's Best Defensive Lineman Is Changing The Way The Game Is Played
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What The Best Pitcher In Baseball Taught Me About Prep School, Socrates, And The Art Of Not Selling Out
At my old high school, Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville, there is a large multi-purpose hall with high ceilings. The hall features large hanging glass panels that extend nearly from the ceiling to the floor, engraved with famous quotations and the image of the speaker. I remember two of the pane...

Red Bulls Youth Soccer Coach Is Murdered, Has Ear Cut Off In Manhattan
Michael Jones, a 25-year-old youth soccer coach, was fatally stabbed early Monday morning in Manhattan, police said. Jones was from Liverpool and worked for Major League Soccer's New York Red Bulls as a coach in the team's youth mentoring program....

Ichiro's Run Last Night Was Everything You Love About Ichiro And Everything You Hate About The Yankees
This is one of the things about the Yankees, one of the reasons the New York Yankees are a sickness on the soul of baseball, this play from Ichiro Suzuki last night. Ichiro! Honestly, if you root against the Yankees—which is to say, if you are not a native of the Bronx or a depraved human being—thi...

Mark Sanchez's Quarterback Rating Is 66.6 Because Of Course It Is
This is almost too good to be true. First, Tim Tebow let us know that last night was the 666th Monday Night Football game in history, and then Mark Sanchez went out and played like Mark Sanchez as the Jets fell victim to the Houston Texans....

Your MLB Playoffs Open Thread
There are two more division series games for you to watch today, and this is the place to contribute your trenchant baseball analysis and dick jokes while you do so. The Nats and Cardinals have already started their game, and the Orioles will be taking on the Yankees at 8:07 p.m. EDT....

Maryland State Troopers Asked The Yankees For Autographs During The Game
Camden Yards beefed up security for the Orioles' return to the playoffs, as is customary. In Baltimore's case, they've retained the services of Maryland State Police, who line the field, sit in the dugouts, that sort of thing. But two troopers, stationed in the Yankees' dugout, make the rookie mista...

Here Is Your Rasheed Wallace Being Hilarious At Knicks Camp Update: Sheed Is Boxing
Today's update comes courtesy of Adam Zagoria, who tweeted out the above picture of Rasheed Wallace boxing while at practice....

The Jets Are In Line For An Attendance Debacle Tonight
It's been reported that as of Friday, the Jets had 12,000 tickets remaining unsold for tonight's game against the Texans. It's understandable. MetLife Stadium is a remarkably joyless place to watch your team lose 59-6. But there have been no whispers of a blackout, so we can assume Woody Johnson has...

The Colts Discount Double Checked And B.J. Raji-Shuffled All Over The Packers: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup
Here's where we're putting the GIFs of the week, from Donald Brown triumphantly trolling the Packers to Brandon Lloyd dancing around like no one's looking....

Twitter Lets Bud Selig Know That The Teams With Better Records Are Getting Screwed
SI's Jay Jaffe had it pretty much pegged in August: the MLB's Division Series format this year makes just about no sense, and as a result, we're seeing teams with superior records (and more exciting stories, like the upstart A's) wading into unfriendly waters for their first two games. It's already ...