nf Page 1168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Randy Moss' Daughter Is The Female Teen Wolf
Randy Moss has a 14-year-old daughter? Try as I might, I can't imagine him shuffling through the kitchen in slippers, making sack lunches and driving someone to school. Who was more precocious, I wonder; Sydney Moss or Rudy Huxtable? At any rate, young Moss is evidently a pretty strong hoopster; jus...
Adam "Pacman" Jones Gets His First Dallas Endorsement Deal
I think I speak for everyone when I say, "This is Adam Jones; formerly Pacman. I've learned how tough it is to get a second chance," is the most persuasive opening to a commercial in the history of television. Particularly with the 1970's r&b background music. How much money did this company have...
Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan
The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from...
An MRI For Deuce And $22 Million For Dorsey
After yesterday's practice at the Saints training camp Deuce McAllister's surgically repaired left knee was swollen enough to send the running back in for an MRI exam. The move is just precautionary, but the idea of losing Deuce to another injury is to make a Saints fan throw up all over their Regg...
The A-11; Wave Of The Future, Or Satan's Offense?
Just what we needed: A new offense that makes the run-n-shoot look conservative. Meet the A-11; brainchild of Piedmont High, Calif., mad scientist/head coach Kurt Bryan, which is beginning to create a buzz at the prep level. Basically it's organized football's version of "Everyone just go long." Hil...
Redskins QBs Prepare for Rugged NFC East With Dodgeball
Yeah, dodgeball it's awesome. Let me just say it now, when one of the Redskins quarterbacks inevitably tears his rotator cuff trying to spike another quarterback this will be the dumbest idea in the history of football. Which is really saying something. So enjoy the honeymoon if it exists, Jim Zorn...
The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
Caleb Campbell: The Army's Loss Is The Detroit Lions' Legal Gain?
The Army blew it. They implemented a policy that was designed to draw attention to the unique skills and talents of their servicemen and, in the process, make it easier to recruit soldiers to the Army by attracting positive publicity and media attention. The policy was enacted in 2005 because fillin...
Caleb Campbell: "I Was Left In The Dark"
On Wednesday night word broke that Caleb Campbell, 7th round draft pick out of Army for the Detroit Lions, would not be allowed to play NFL football in the 2008 season. Campbell, a 2nd Lt. who graduated from West Point on May 31 of this year, owed his ability to play in the NFL to a 2005 Army policy...
Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton? A Coin Flip Shall Decide Chicago's Quarterbacking Fate
It's only July and already Bears fans are terrified. Who's going to start at quarterback: The mediocre bearded guy or the mediocre short guy? Well, even the players themselves can't decide. So they did what any reasonable, competitive football player would do...they flipped a coin. Cue the Chicago T...
Apparently, Ravens Offensive Tackle Marshal Yanda Is Also Impervious To Tasers
Yesterday we discovered that Bucs safety Donte Nicholson withstood the first police tasing without being impacted. Now comes the rumor that the Baltimore Ravens bet their teammate Marshal Yanda $1,500 that he couldn't withstand a taser. According to the Baltimore Sun, Yanda collected....
Cradle of NFL Quarterbacks Moves From Rustbelt to Gulf Coast
In an interesting article over at KCChiefs.com, Bob Gretz looks at where NFL quarterbacks are raised. He eliminates several states with large populations that produce tons of athletes: Texas, California, and Florida and focuses in on the states of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama....
Carson Palmer Loves Ohio State Fans Now
We all know he was being honest when he said Ohio State fans sucked. You can agree or disagree with the statement but at least it was honest. Now, predictably, Palmer has backtracked from his statement and isued a new one regarding Ohio State and their fans. Have we really reached the point where qu...
Bucs Safety Donte Nicholson Laughs at Your Taser
Is it just me or per capita do people get arrested more in Tampa than any other city? You'd think with a strip club like Mons Venus everyone would always be in a good mood. Sadly, that's not the case. The latest Tampa casualty? Bucs safety Donte Nicholson....
Steve Young Assesses The Brett Favre Mess
I don't think I'd be out of line in saying that Steve Young is an oasis in an ESPN desert of crapitude. Any man who was constantly subjected to Joe Morgan's and Michael Irvin's ramblings on a regular basis and yet kept a positive outlook is pretty much my hero. Also, he was a fair quarterback, I hea...
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Third Circuit Tosses Indecency Fine Against CBS For Jackson's Nipple
In a victory for fans of nipples everywhere, a three judge panel of the Third Circuit found that the FCC "acted abitrarily and capriciously" in imposing their fine against CBS....
Carson Palmer Despises Ohio State, Jim Tressel, and Their Fans
It's a good thing Ohio State fans are so worldly and forgiving. Because otherwise Carson could be in some hot water. Evidently Palmer, a noted USC and Pac-10 homer, went on Los Angeles sports talk radio and brought the thunder....
NFL To Charles Woodson: Only We Can Endorse Alcohol
Three new things I learned after hearing about this story: (1) NFL cornerback Charles Woodson has come out with his own wine called "Twentyfour." (2) Charles Woodson still plays football. And (3) NFL players aren't allowed to endorse alcohol....
Broncos Stink Like A Flower That Stinks Really Bad
Here's a game for you the next time you pick up the sports section of a newspaper. (If people still do that these days. Zing! High five!) Find their local columnist and count how many consecutive one-sentence paragraphs that lead off their article. Today, it's Woody Paige, and the count comes in at ...