Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan

The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from there. According to the report he team has agreed to pay Hester a $10 million bonus if he performs at a high level at wide receiver. So file that under "shit that isn't going to happen."

• Brett Favre didn't show up to camp because he didn't want, "to be a distraction to the Packers," because he's just that fucking selfless.

• Adam Schefter is reporting that the New England Patriots have added some depth at running back by signing seven-year veteran LaMont Jordan to a one-year deal. If Jordan's body holds up he can still be an effective contributor, especially for a team like the Patriots.

• Just to update yesterday's post regarding Deuce McAlister's knee, the Saints workhorse was back in practice today after yesterday's MRI exam. So go ahead and draft him in your fantasy league. Come on, do it. Pussy.