nfl Page 1014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Peyton Manning Going All Brokeback Mountain On Us?
OK, now this be should be filed under "Complete Random Rumor From Gossip Newsletter That Knows Nothing About American Sports," but the pure notion of it is so hysterical that we can't help but bring it to your attention....
Tom Brady The Next Namath In More Ways Than One
We were pleased to see that Patriots quarterhunk Tom Brady shook off his hangover enough to lead the Pats to a last-minute victory over the Steelers last week; we were beginning to become somewhat concerned about his tendency to get all bombed and start hitting on Olsen twins....
Tillman's Family Still Searching For Answers
The family of slain soldier Pat Tillman — whose jersey we have owned for six years — are simultanously making more headway on getting answers about the death of their son and getting farther away. They reviewed the military papers and found "countless" names and information blacked out....
The Lonesome Buzzsaw
We find it amusing that the NFL is beginning to truly, deeply understand what we have known for years: There are no Arizona Cardinals fans. As the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals prepares to "host" the first regular season NFL game in Mexico, it appears that, when you walk around Mexico Cit...
If Tom Cruise Were A Lineman
As obsessive as Madden 2006 players tend to be, we're surprised it took this long to be discovered, but it appears a glitch in the game has Jets offensive lineman Michael King listed as seven inches high. (That's him in the picture, doing a pretty excellent job at blocking a Buccaneer, considering...
In The Wake Of Chad
We've always liked Jets fans, if just because they have that unique New York blend of bitter cynicism and unabashed homerism toward their team. They're like the woman who has nothing nice to say about her spoiled younger sister ... but she'll have your throat if you do....
Football Outsiders Join The Happy Family Of Fox
Some Web business news this morning: The crazy kids at Football Outsiders have signed a deal with Fox Sports to provide NFL content for their site. Editor-in-chief Aaron Schatz — who previously had been doing work for ESPN Page 2 — says Fox Sports will run original FO content Monday-Wednesday. Fox...
NFL Roundup: Kickers Soak Up All The Drama
• Like everyone else who is prone to breaking their spine whenever there's a stiff wind, we've always had an affinity for kickers. So when Cowboys bully tackle Larry Allen went after former XFL kicker Jose Cortez after he missed an extra point — to be fair, Cortez got a little lipp — we cringed th...
Giants Fans Remain Most Erudite In Sport
We once went to a St. Louis Cardinals-New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium with a smattering of fellow Cardinals fans. There was a rain delay, and our group — all dressed in loud red, of course — watched the Bleacher Creatures amuse themselves, treating the benches like Slip-n-Slide's and parti...
Who Says Football Has Gay Undertones?
Ever wonder what goes on in the big pile of men that fall on a fumble in the NFL? (We're looking at you, Esera Tuaolo.) The St. Petersburg Times digs deep down to find out the truth about "football's underworld."...
The NFL's Phantom $5 Million
From a reader, about our inabilities to give money to the NFL Katrina Relief telethon:...
Donovan McNabb, White Quarterback
We're not Professional Sports Columnists, but we'd have to say, just to keep our noses clean, the last thing we'd mention when discussing Eagles QB Donovan McNabb would be race. We'd mention his hairline, his goatee, even his ridiculous commercials, but race? That's OK, thanks, we'll be over here ...
"Ditka 84, Bengals Negative-7"
With the Bears' convincing win over quarterback Corky Thatcher and the Detroit Lions, and a NFC North division that suddenly looks very winnable, we look to the Chicago Bears for the most reason anyone looks to the Chicago Fears: Da Fans. Bears fans might not be the most spirited fans in all of th...
The NFL Wouldn't Let Us Give Money
Like all of you, we're sure, we were moved and stirred by the NFL's selfless Katrina Telethon last night. John Elway, answering phones! Frank Gifford! Danny Kanell! We were touched by the willingness of such sainted former football players to roll up their sleeves and pitch in; they were answering...
NFL Does What It Can To Ape Jerry Lewis
Well, if you're excited about the doubleheader of NFL games tonight, you should stop it, because tonight is not about football, it's about the hurricane, so stop smiling and having fun and checking your fantasy team and enjoying the games. The NFL will have none of that....
Dead. Man. Walking.
We're watching Vikings coach Mike Tice on ESPN News right now, and it's making us sad. He started his press conference swaying back and forth, like a kid in desperate need of Ritalin, and in the next sentence, he compared his players to sailors vomiting off the side of a ship and called himself a ...
Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?
Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think....
Mike Wallace's Dogged Pursuit For Truth
We will confess confusion about "60 Minutes" decaying muckraker Mike Wallace's strange obsession with Dolphins running back Ricky Williams. After his infamous interview last year — in which Wallace all but asked Ricky where he could score some good weed — last night's revisit with Williams consist...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
The Real Randy Moss — MOSSMASK!
That, friends, is exactly what you think it is: an official Randy Moss collectible mask, ready to be delivered just in time for Halloween. It's the signature item of Randy's newly launched official Web site, which promises the "real" Randy Moss. You can join Randy's V.I.P. club — which, unlike The...