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Alshon Jeffery Suspended Four Games For Violating PED Policy
Alshon Jeffery is not having the best year. He’s set to be a free agent this offseason, and a bounce-back season in which he returned to his 2013-14 form could have set him up for a decent payday. Unfortunately, he’s only got 630 yards and one touchdown in nine games of the season, and now he’s in ...

The NFL Knows America Doesn't Want To Watch The Jets
We already savaged the Rams for their role in the NFL’s least enjoyable game since this Week 1 debacle, but no one deserves to come out of that with dignity intact. The Jets, led by Bryce Petty in his first NFL start, were just as complicit, punting eight times and gaining just 17 first downs. You d...

This Week In Jeff Fisher Refusing To Blame His Quarterback
I’d like to apologize to you on behalf of sports if you watched yesterday’s 9-6 Rams win over the Jets, a game that seemed absolutely destined to be a tie and didn’t end up with even that novelty to recommend it. The Jets are so unwatchable that they flexed Tom Brady out of primetime, but let’s not ...

The Most Blake Bortles Play Blake Bortles Ever Bortled
The Jaguars entered this season with expectations of contending for a playoff spot. Instead, after a 24-21 loss to the Texans, they’re 2-7 and haven’t won a game in a month. It’s been a grim season, but thankfully Blake Bortles is dedicated to supplying his fans with much needed dosages of slapstick...

The Cowboys Are Dak Prescott's Now
The Cowboys played this perfectly, and got lucky, but there is now no question that Dak Prescott is their starting quarterback. Tony Romo practiced fully this week, and is healthy enough to play for the first time since breaking his back in preseason, but come Sunday against Baltimore, he’ll be hold...

Mike Evans Sat During National Anthem To Protest Election Of Donald Trump
Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Evans became the latest NFL player to refuse to stand during the national anthem yesterday, a sign of protest that was directed at either half the electorate or one person in particular, depending on how you look at it....

Rob Gronkowski Said This Was The Hardest He's Ever Been Hit
In the second quarter of the Seahawks’ win over New England, TE Rob Gronkowski took a hell of a shot from safety Earl Thomas:...

One Step Back Helped Kam Chancellor Foil The Patriots' Last Play
There’s something pleasant about sports displaying symmetry; it’s a reassurance, however misleading, that we aren’t devoting so much of our lives to a random number generator. The ending of Seahawks-Patriots looked a lot like the ending of Super Bowl XLIX: It came down to a goal-line stand, the defe...
![Larry Fitzgerald Taken To Locker Room After Landing Backwards On His Neck [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uoelppnotjaqrt5gi9fh.jpg)
Larry Fitzgerald Taken To Locker Room After Landing Backwards On His Neck [Update]
Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald made his 1,079th career reception today against the San Francisco 49ers, passing Terrell Owens on the all-time list. A few plays (and another reception later), Fitzgerald made a catch from quarterback Carson Palmer, but flipped over 49ers defensive ba...

Broncos Beat Saints With Wild Defensive Two-Point Conversion
With just under two minutes left in the fourth quarter, the New Orleans Saints scored a crucial touchdown to tie the Denver Broncos at 23 points apiece....

Jay Cutler Ends First Half With Hail Mary
Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler’s game against the Buccaneers did not get off to a good start, with two interceptions (one a pick-six) in the first quarter. But he took a pretty nice step toward redeeming himself with a Hail Mary to finish off the first half:...

Titans Start Game With Failed Onside Kick
The Green Bay Packers had the first offensive possession against the Tennessee Titans today, so instead of a kickoff punt, the Titans tried an onside kick instead. The Packers recovered it anyway, and began their first drive just inside the Titans territory. The onside kick could have come back to h...

Keep It In The Toilet: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
It’s like the NFL has a checklist of possible fuck-ups and self-inflicted public-relations disasters, and they make a point of marking as many items as possible each week. This pattern makes disliking the NFL easy and fun, if you’re interested in giving it a shot....

Norv And Scott Turner Have A Father-Son Relationship Built On Open Communication
Minnesota Vikings offensive coordinator Norv Turner resigned two weeks ago, leaving behind an offense that was second-to-last overall and in the league’s bottom five for both passing and rushing despite a team record of 5-2. For the resignation to come without warning midseason was unexpected for ju...

Cleveland Browns Fan Plans Parade To Celebrate Franchise Failure
One of the dependable comforts of this turbulent world is the reassuring fact that the Cleveland Browns are interminably, totally awful. This can be something that Browns fan continually mourn, or it can be something that they embrace and commemorate with a parade....

NFL To Teams: Stop Commenting On Concussions
The NFL has given teams a new strategy for talking about players in concussion protocol: just not talking about them. ...

Dan Snyder, The Godfather of "Official Mattress" Deals, Makes Another
Dan Snyder is the most consistent man on the planet. The Skins owner announced this morning that his football team now has an “official mattress.”...

Just Five Minutes Of Philip Rivers Saying Stuff
Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers has always struck me as a sort of charming goober, so it’s nice to hear five minutes of in-game audio that more or less confirms my assessment....

It Doesn't Matter Who The Browns' Quarterback Is
Let’s run it down. The Browns are 0-10 for the first time in franchise history. They’ve dropped 13 in a row, the longest losing streak in franchise history. They’ve given up at least 25 points in 11 straight games, the longest such streak in modern NFL history. So any midgame quarterback changes hav...

The Browns Are Just A Big Fuckin' Bummer
The Cleveland Browns started their night off by burning a timeout before the first play from scrimmage. After they forced the Ravens to punt, two players attempted to field that kick. It got better, briefly, but the Browns started their evening off by falling all over themselves and they never reall...