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Jason Taylor's Final Locker Room Speech Was Actually Pretty Touching
We told you yesterday about the farewell billboard Jason Taylor bought in Miami, and now we have a video message from the guy who somehow beat D'Brickashaw Ferguson around the edge yesterday. It's vaguely tender and worth your time....

Brian Urlacher's Injury Horrified His Teammates, Brought Them To Prayer
Bears All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher opened the new year with an MCL sprain, though his reaction was so terrifying teammates fell to their knees in prayer. From DeKalb's Daily Chronicle:...

And Now The Bucs Have Fired Raheem Morris
Morris, like Steve Spagnuolo, is to some extent a casualty of his team's unexpected success last year—the Bucs won ten games (playing a limp schedule), and presumably management thought the team would improve upon or at least equal that this year. Of course, the Bucs suck, and so they went 4-12, wit...

Adrian Peterson Had The Saddest New Year's Party
Here's the Vikings running back, taking his cup of kindness and forgetting old acquaintance, by which I mean his ACL, MCL, and his medial and lateral menisci. [@AdrianPeterson]...

License Plate Guy Hates The Cowboys And Has The Banal Novelty License Plates To Prove It
Your morning roundup for Jan. 2, the day we learned you're not that tall. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Drayton Florence Saved The Best For Last In Earning NFL Flop Of The Season Honors
Bills cornerback Drayton Florence has made a career out of his tough-guy image (just ask Mark Sanchez) but the stunt he pulled Sunday against the New England Patriots puts him firmly in Italian soccer star territory. It was less a flop or dive and more of a hurl—a leaping, falling charade of nonse...

John Abraham Is So Excited To Go To The Playoffs He Could Just Kiss You: Your Sunday NFL Roundup
Well, the season is basically over. It's been fun at times and not so fun other times. As we prepare to enter the "second season" or the "12 team tournament" or whatever other weird term people come up with for "playoffs," let's recap the last week of the regular season....

This One's For All The Tostitos: Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
Well, the day is almost over, but not before The Cowboys and Giants decide the NFC East. It took 17 weeks but we actually have a compelling prime time game with legitimate stakes...at stake. Cowboys win and they're in, Giants win and they're in. The only thing we know for sure is that one of these ...

Here's Another One Of Those 105-Yard Kickoff Returns We Were Told We'd Never See Again
When the NFL moved kickoffs up prior to the start of the season, long returns were nearly declared extinct. While the number of return TDs is down significantly, there have been a good number of surprises, like this one from San Diego's Richard Goodman. [CBS]...

Bengals Country Is Experiencing Rapid Growth: Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
There's still plenty of action left in the day so let's dive right in. ...

David Akers Is Now Throwing Touchdown Passes
We're not sure if this says more for Jim Harbaugh's shrewdness or the Rams' general ineptitude, but this fake field goal completion from David Akers to Michael Crabtree was a pass even Tim Tebow would have completed. That having been said, the fake was so good it even fooled the broadcast truck. [...

Helmet-To-Helmet Tackles Are Especially Painful If You're Not Wearing A Helmet
Forgive Houston's Bryan Braman for trying to make an impact on the game and impress the Texans coaching staff, but the undrafted rookie from West Texas A & M ended up making an impression on his skull via impact with the helmet of Titans punt returner Marc Mariani. Top that, James Harrison. [CBS]...

Your Dumbass NFL Play Of The Season Stars Packers KR Pat Lee
The Packers' usual kick returner is Randall Cobb, but he's out with an injury. In stepped Pat Lee, who has completely bungled his kick returns so far today—the most egregious example of which came after Detroit's opening touchdown in which Lee drops the ball out of the end zone, then downs it back...

Darrelle Revis Is The Michael Jordan To Brandon Marshall's Bryon Russell: Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
It seems like only yesterday it was week one and I was doing weird things like Fictional Character Associated With The Region Game Simulator and forgetting to include the random game here or there. Well, FCAWRGS went by the wayside. Let's make it a great week 17, no? ...

Jason Taylor Says Goodbye To Miami Fans With Message On His Forehead
Oh, sorry—that's a billboard. My mistake. Moving on, Taylor announced earlier this week that today's game would be his last. As has become custom in sports, the retiree is the one who gives thanks on his way out and Taylor is no different....

Free Cars In Cleveland This Week If The Browns Secure A Shutout That Will Never Happen
The deal from Bill Doraty's car dealership in Medina, Ohio, goes like this: Buy a KIA this week, and if the Browns shut out the Steelers on Sunday, it's free. The Steelers have won 21 of their last 23 games against the Browns. No team has shut the Steelers out since 2006. The Browns last blanked Pi...

Albert Haynesworth Is The Worst
From Peter King: "Great note by @AdamSchefter: Bucs are 0-7 with Albert Haynesworth, Pats are 7-0 since waiving him." Three cheers for the disgruntled one!...

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Bet $1 Million Against Tim Tebow
Two weeks ago, the New England Patriots walked all over the Denver Broncos in a 41-23 win. More importantly, Mayweather got rich—well, richer. The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports that Mayweather had $1 million on the Patriots. The director of the Cantor Gaming sports book at the M Resort, Mike Colb...

A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....

Four Players Since Week 10 Have Won Defensive Player Of The Week After Facing The Jets
The Daily News points out a common thread in one of the NFL's weekly awards:...