nfl Page 846 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Kansas City Patriots
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Patriots fans who love everything about New England's recent dynasty, except Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Pack your bags, you're moving to K.C.!...

In Other Ex-NFLer Car-Related Legal Trouble...
After his dealership defaulted, Deuce McAllister is countersuing, claiming Nissan's finance division should have known he "was a football player who was inexperienced in the car business." Deuce, I'm pretty sure that's why they sold you the dealership. [AP]...

The Pansiest Auto Theft Charge Ever
Terry Glenn rented an SUV from National Car Rental. Terry Glenn did not return said SUV. That's grounds for arrest, and not likely to earn much street cred....

Charlie Weis Beaches Himself In Kansas City
Weis will be the Chiefs' offensive coordinator, according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [ESPN]...

Mike Ditka Was Not A Fan Of Post-Game Interviews Or Pants
Behind the scenes post-game video, circa 1988, shows a young, spry Coach Ditka bickering with the host and generally being, well....Mike Ditka. Fascinating artifact. (Bad language, but thankfully no Mini Ditka revealed.) [Kap's Korner, via]...

Charles Rogers Just Can't Quit Drinking Himself To Sleep
Former Detroit/MSU receiver Charles Rogers was arrested again, this time for falling asleep in a Mexican restaurant at 3:15 p.m. on Tuesday. Maybe he has narcolepsy. (Caused by too much alcohol.)...

A Fitting End To The Raiders' Season
JaMarcus Russell reportedly blew off the year's final team meeting to hang out at the Palms in Vegas. I hear they have an excellent breakfast buffet there. [Oakland Tribune]...

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Your NFL Coaching Carousel Update
In these trying times, it's hard to know who is actually in charge of your awful NFL team. We'll do our best to keep you informed of these frequently changing and occasionally riveting announcements....

Mark Sanchez: One Of The Poise, Again
"Mark Sanchez's teammates and coaches have noticed something different about him recently," Rich Cimini writes. "They've seen more poise than before..." It's back! [New York Daily News]...

Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...

Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...

Texans Make Some Nosie
The Patriots deliver an epic F-U to the Steelers by choking their game away, but karma hits them back. A surprisingly compelling early slate, with some huge injuries and even a snow game....

Your Late Games Open Thread
Brandon Marshall was reportedly benched for missing a therapy session. (It was physical therapy for his ostensibly injured hamstring, but it's funnier if you leave that part out.) Let's watch the Chiefs and Raiders try to play spoiler. [ESPN]...

Pat White Carted Off After Helmet-To-Helmet Hit (Update)
For now, here's the highlight on NFL.com. But who's got that video? UPDATE: We do!...

Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Jackpot! Both FOX and CBS have two games today. Too bad most of the rosters will be UFL-quality. It's Curtis Painter's time to shine! [The506]...

The Demolition of Texas Stadium, Brought To You By Macaroni and Cheese
Kraft is sponsoring the upcoming destruction of the Cowboys' old home, along with a children's essay contest where the winner gets to pull the trigger. Bet you wish you'd taught your kids to read and write now, eh Philadelphia?...

The Top 10 Most Visited Deadspin Stories Of The Deadspin Decade
One more rundown before we start talking about stuff in 2010. These are the top 10 most popular posts of the Deadspin decade (2005-2009). It's an interesting glimpse into the psyche of the internet viewer. (Low-to-high, as usual.)...

Eighties Video Skanks Rule. Jamboroo, Week 17
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....