nfl Page 865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...
Can Someone Please Adopt This Gerbil And Frog For The Weekend?
Our original adoptive family flaked. Our new one can't come until Monday, so if any kind NYC readers are nearby today and can care for them this weekend, I'd appreciate it. [Deadspin]...
My Hot NFL Picks This Weekend
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It is NFL Day. Here are my Hot Six Spread Picks for the weekend, given gratis and at no charge. DISCLAIMER: What you do with this information is At Your Own Risk. (LOL)...
Join The 2010 Deadspin NFL Pants Party Pool, Peephole Patrons!
Hey, you! Wanna test your prognosticating knowledge again the best of the best? Yes? THEN FUCK YOU. This is the DeadspinPants Party pool. No smartypants allowed....
Raiders Make Richard Seymour An Offer He Can't Accept
Good news! If Richard Seymour doesn't report within five days he doesn't have to play for the Raiders this year! He's also suspended and won't get paid his $3.6 million salary, but life is full of compromises, isn't it? [ESPN]...
They're Back!
The mad genius has returned with his NFL TV distribution maps. Enjoy that awful Vikings/Browns game, most of the country! [The506.com]...
The Chargers Sure Can Stuff Their Fat Faces
As per tradition, rookie Larry English took the team out to dinner — to the tune of $14,508.67. The real question is, which poof ordered the raspberry sorbet? [Shaun Phillips' Twitter, via Shutdown Corner]...
You Are Cordially Invited To The Alvin Keels Pool Party
While the whole Andre Smith contract abortion was playing out, we assumed his agent was working the phones nonstop. Instead, he was making embarrassing videos hyping his pool party....
NFL To Let You Watch Games Long After They're Relevant
Blackout rules mean that if your local NFL team sucks, you don't get to watch their games live. Now by letting you watch the game "on a delayed basis," the league is acting like they're doing your a favor....
Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....
Love And Football. The Return Of The Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find links to more of Drew's stuff at his Twitter feed....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Out-Of-Context Quotes Make Shawne Merriman Look Pretty Guilty
"I've been able to knock somebody out....I must have split personalities....I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]...
Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...
Help Wanted: Preposterous NFL Project 2009
Dear Readers: If anyone in the NYC area would like to volunteer to care for our football-playing gerbil and frog this year, please contact me. Consider it an internship. Sort of. No, this is not a joke....
Harrison Accuser Dies From Gunshot Wounds
Dwight Dixon, the man who accused Marvin Harrison of shooting him back in 2008, was shot again this July and never regained consciousness. He died on Friday. No charges have been filed in either case. [Philly Daily News]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This final 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....
Why Your Team Sucks: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....