nfl Page 864 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Black Mexican Prevents Black Out
Chad Ochocinco, along with the fine folks at Motorola, bought up the remaining unsold Bengals tickets to prevent a TV blackout on Sunday. Also, if you want to see "Law Abiding Citizen" tonight, he'll pay for that too. [WKRC/Twitter]...
Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....
BREAKING: Frog (Q-Dying)
The helmet-happy Frog, of our NFLHOTW series appears to be quite ill and unable to recreate football plays this week. Adjust your fantasy football animal rosters accordingly. Developing......
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....
Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered
A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border....
Brady Quinn's Cleveland Home On The Market
Well, not technically Cleveland, because no self-respecting athlete actually lives in Cleveland. But this 4-bedroom, 5-bath listing might be a sign that Quinn will soon be plying his trade a lot farther away. [Realtor.com via WaitingForNextYear]...
A Manly Manly Way For The Titans To Bust Their Slump
According to a not nearly tongue-in-cheek enough column in The Tennessean, the only thing that can turn around the winless Titans is a Cuddle Party in their pajamas. I'd be shocked if this wasn't ghostwritten by Vince Young. [Tennessean]...
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
Deanna Favre Is Also A Fan Of The Custom Jersey
It's our first celebrity entry in the custom joke jersey derby. In this case, a creative Vikings fan thumbs his nose at Packers GM Ted Thompson on behalf of the whole Favre family. At least it's not about revenge!...
Queering In The Press Box
Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!]...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....
Oakland Should Be Prosecuted For Crimes Against Humanity
I know it's cruel to keep featuring the Raiders today, but it was cruel of CBS to put them on my television. And really, holy crap, JaMarcus....
Your Late Games Open Thread
We should have some exciting games this afternoon, with none of the lines being more than a score. That is assuming you consider close games like Cleveland and Buffalo's 6-3 stinkbomb "exciting."...
Randy Hanson Worked For The Raiders And Lived To Tell The Tale. Barely.
"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon. He was screaming, ‘I'll f—- kill you! I'll f—- kill you!'." [Yahoo!]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
So what if the Giants are forced to resort to their second string QB? The Raiders have to resort to their first-stringer. Enjoy watching the Oakland game, America. You poor bastards. [The506]...
Bad Beats: Do Not Bet This Man
A weekly look at smart plays, oddball propositions and all your tales of gambling woe....
Was This A Missed Field Goal?
Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is making a big, passive-aggressive stink about the 31-yard kick you see here, the Bengals' game-winner over the Browns on Sunday. Alleged game-winner....