nfl Page 868 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brees On Gitmo: "The Worst Thing We Can Do Is Shut That Baby Down"
Super Bowl winning quarterbacks go to Disney World, while an all-around good guy like Drew Brees scores an all-expenses-paid trip to Guantanamo Bay. Sounds dreamy, right? According to Brees, Gitmo ain't so bad....

The NFL Distracts You From Gambling With Beer Pong
The NFL is all about building morally upright citizens, which is why they don't cotton to things like fightin', whorin' and gamblin'. But maybe while waiting to watch the big match, you might enjoy their sober new ping pong game....

Your Supremely Violent AFC Fantasy Football Preview
This week's fucking Deadcast guest is fucking Andy Behrens from fucking Yahoo! (Listen here, iTunes here.) FUCKTASTIC! Together we have produced, by far, the most useful fucking Deadcast to date....

Jamal Anderson Does Not Really Want To Be A Porn Star Named Axel Steelcock
Jamal Anderson doesn't need this agita. A cocaine possession charge in February, and now somebody's hacking into the former Falcon's Facebook account? Well, at least that's what he'd like you to believe....

A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....

Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....

Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...

Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...

Drew Brees' Crazy Mom Moves Up To Extortion
For the record, Saints QB Drew Brees still has a "nonexistent" relationship with his mother, so he probably didn't sign off on her recent plan to dupe Texas restaurants into paying her for the name of their own business....

Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....

FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...

Drew Bennett's Glorious Two-Day Run With The Ravens
On Friday, wide receiver Drew Bennett was healthy, rested and ready to play. So Baltimore gave him a one-year contract. Then he woke up on Sunday with a sore knee, so he retired. Didn't the Ravens call no takebacks?...

Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...

Why Your Team Sucks: Indianapolis Colts
Many people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This Deadspin 2009 NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Plaxico Burress Should Get Used To Confined Spaces
Manhattan's District Attorney says any plea deal with Plaxico Burress (remember that hilarious gun accident?) will involve jail time. (And Antonio Pierce isn't off the hook either.) It's almost like they're mad at him for breaking the law! [NY Post]...

This Lady Will Soon Run The New Orleans Saints
Her name is Rita Benson Leblanc. Granddaughter of Saints' owner Tom Benson. At 31 she's the VP of the Saints. But the Times-Picayune argues that her pedigree is only part of her success....

T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...

Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....

Suddenly, Everyone Cares About Delaware Again
The NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB and NCAA—what no UFL?—have joined forces to sue Delaware in the hopes of stopping their new state gambling law. Delaware can't have this one thing? They don't ask for much! [ESPN/USA Today]...

That's 28 Games In Dog Years
ESPN gets back to doing what they do best: breaking news. Michael Vick will reportedly be suspended for the first four games of 2009. [ESPN]...