nfl Page 914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Update: Week 2 Third Quarter
• Bears 17, Panthers 13- Carolina rudely won't give up to the Neckbeard's superiority (17-23, 140 yards). Also: holding, Chicago. • Bills 10, Jaguars 16 - Maurice Jones-Drew scores a TD on a 74-yard drive for the Jaguars. • Giants 20, Rams 6 - Eli Manning: 17-26, 202 yds, 2 TDs, 86 commercials. Welc...

NFL Update: Week 2 Halftime
• Bears 10, Panthers 3- Both teams traded field goals in the second quarter. Matt Forte has 15 carries for 43 yards. • Bills 10, Jaguars 3 - Fred Jackson has four catches for 50 yards. • Giants 13, Rams 6 - Both teams traded field goals and then traded field goals again, including one at the half. E...

That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...

OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...

Despite Concerns of 'Suicide' Talk, Vince Young Says He's 'Not Depressed'
The Vince Young saga rolls on as we head into week two of the NFL season. It went from Vince Young apparently refusing to go out on the field in the final moments of a game last weekend, to police frantically searching for him Monday night, to talk of Vince having uttered the word "suicide" while ha...

We Find Ourselves Rather Disliking Ike
Galveston, Houston and much of the Gulf Coast stay in lockdown mode this morning, waiting still to assess the human and structural damage as Hurricane Ike, freak storm that it appears to be, drags a huge storm surge over the Texas coast. However, we do have a preliminary assessment of the effect on...

Braylon Edwards Finds The Golden Ticket
Hey, I couldn't let you head out toward your weekend without this small bit of advice: Drive safely. Because even if the cop lets you off with a warning, you may end up with the ticket anyway. Just ask the Browns' Braylon Edwards. Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph i...

I Don't Care What They Say I Can't Stay In A World Without Tom ... Or Can I?
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Something For The Lonely And Confused Brett Favre Fan
Just in time for Christmas, it's the "Jet Pack" Brett Favre jersey! The perfect gift for: People still on the fence between Obama and McCain; commuters who live in Green Bay and work in New York; outpatients with multiple personality disorder; Peter King. Usually ships within 4-5 business days, unle...

Raiders' D-Coordinator Lashes Out; Let's Watch The Fun
Lane Kiffin was never the right fit for the Oakland Raiders, and you know that by simply looking at him. Smartly coiffed, well dressed, soft spoken; he should be employed by the Colts, or perhaps Homeland Security. Now Rob Ryan, there's a Raiders coach. The defensive coordinator is the very definiti...

Vince Young Is Back, But Shhhh, Please Don't Boo Him
Talking publicly for the first time since Jeff Fisher sent guys with white coats after him with butterfly nets, Vince Young says that he's fine, he wants to play, and that he was never depressed. The problem was that he had never been booed before, and didn't know how to handle it. Um, good thing he...

Cheering For Injuries Is Good For America! Jamboroo, Week 2
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. As...

Randy Moss Tells Jets That Patriots Are 'Still The Team To Beat.' That Seems Wise
If there's one thing that Matt Cassel wishes for his starting debut with the Patriots on Sunday, it's that a prominent teammate talk some smack to the opposing team, which already has a contract out on him to begin with. Oh, and a very painful cold sore; that would be good. Randy Moss just couldn't ...

Al Davis Finds Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing
This man does not want your pity. Yes, the Oakland Raiders are 0-1, having created such a large vortex of suck on Sunday night against the visiting Broncos that pedestrians, buses, small businesses and I'm pretty sure my cat were inhaled into the blackness, never to be seen again. So bad was the thr...

Tony Romo: Cowboy, Hero To The OnStar-Averse
Ugh. As painful as it is to type these words, especially during this week, it seems appropriate given the circumstances: TONY ROMO IS A GOOD GUY. Fine. Whatever. Great. A story in today's Fort Worth Star Telegram tells the tale of two Cowboys fans named Bill and Sharon White, who were returning from...

The Average NFL Team Now Worth Over $1 Billion
Just as a refresher, the Pittsburgh Steelers franchise fee was $2,500 back in 1933. Art Rooney had the money to pay the franchise fee thanks to winnings at Saratoga Racetrack. Yeah, pretty good investment. As always it makes you want to kick your grandfather. The NFL becomes the first sports league...

Just What The NFL Needs; More Nazi-Related Controversy
Should a new stadium for the Giants and Jets — shown here with the Jets going for it on fourth-and-long from their own 35 — be named after a German corporation with ties to the Holocaust? The controversy continues to swirl over New York, as Allianz Insurance would reportedly pay $20 million to $30 m...

Alex Smith And The Series Of Unfortunate Events
It appears that Alex Smith's time as a San Francisco 49er has come to an end. The star that shone so brightly for, say, about five-and-a-half quarters in 2006, was extinguished on Tuesday when it was learned that the quarterback has a broken bone in his shoulder and would be placed on injured reserv...

Adam Jones Books His Reservation For Bulletin Boards In St. Louis And Philadelphia In One Shot
When the Philadelphia Eagles take on the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night, it's a game that is always entertaining because of how much Philadelphians despise the Cowboys. It's unhealthy, but it's one of those things that Philadelphians are saddled with the second they're spat out of their mother's wom...

Vince Young's Mom Says He Doesn't Want to Play Football Anymore
The Vince Young saga has taken another turn toward the bizarre — as if you expected anything else — with the quarterback reportedly telling people close to him that he's not prepared to continue his NFL career. Young, who went AWOL late Monday after meeting in turn with his mom, a psychologist and T...