nfl Page 922 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Third Circuit Tosses Indecency Fine Against CBS For Jackson's Nipple
In a victory for fans of nipples everywhere, a three judge panel of the Third Circuit found that the FCC "acted abitrarily and capriciously" in imposing their fine against CBS....
Carson Palmer Despises Ohio State, Jim Tressel, and Their Fans
It's a good thing Ohio State fans are so worldly and forgiving. Because otherwise Carson could be in some hot water. Evidently Palmer, a noted USC and Pac-10 homer, went on Los Angeles sports talk radio and brought the thunder....
NFL To Charles Woodson: Only We Can Endorse Alcohol
Three new things I learned after hearing about this story: (1) NFL cornerback Charles Woodson has come out with his own wine called "Twentyfour." (2) Charles Woodson still plays football. And (3) NFL players aren't allowed to endorse alcohol....
Broncos Stink Like A Flower That Stinks Really Bad
Here's a game for you the next time you pick up the sports section of a newspaper. (If people still do that these days. Zing! High five!) Find their local columnist and count how many consecutive one-sentence paragraphs that lead off their article. Today, it's Woody Paige, and the count comes in at ...
I Can Think Of No Better Metaphor For The Favre Situation Than This
How to say goodbye to the Wisconsin legend that is Brett Favre? Well, other than a life-sized statue made entirely of cheese, this giant corn maze will have to do. (Or would it be giant maize maze?). It's fitting, too; because visitors will take a confusing, roundabout journey where each new turn le...
Brady Quinn: Bringing People Together Of All Persuasions
It's only speculation as to how many gay relationships have been started because of Brady Quinn. After all, his photo has been used to promote the M4M gay dating service for a couple of months now on Facebook pages across our great land....
Mike Ditka's Balance Is Not What It Used To Be
I've never been to a celebrity roast for anyone but I like to think this happens every time. Paul Hornung takes the stage and welcomes the roastee to the rostrum, roastee is wasted, knocks over his own table when standing, and then crumbles to the ground when shoved by Hornung. See Mr. Bear's finest...
Manning "Reception" Is Everything You'd Imagine It Would Be
Sadly, there are no Village People moments like Brady Quinn had at his sister's wedding to A.J. Hawk, but if you do scroll through the lovely photo album, there are plenty of Manning-like moments that will clearly be cherished always. The New York Giants' quarterback appears to be coming out of his ...
Your NFL Season Brownie Point Calculator
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
At Long Last: T.O. and Jessica Simpson are buddies
In a hard-hitting interview with US Magazine, T.O. explains that he was joking about Jessica being bad luck for Tony Romo and the Cowboys. T.O. wishes good luck to the couple and per US Weekly, "I told her she is welcome to the stadium anytime. I told her she can come down and sit in my section, I’m...
Jay Glazer Finally Breaks Some Brett Favre-Related News
Noticeably absent during the whole Brett Favre telenovela has been Fox Sports' NFL dirt dog, Jay Glazer. The reporter and MMA tough guy broke so many stories last year (including Favre's retirement announcement) that it seemed odd he wasn't pumping out new Favre revelations, even as Chris Mortensen,...
New England Patriots Helmet Tattoo Guy Auctioning Off Rest of Body
Not content with the awesomest tattoo ever, Victor Thompson will now sell off other places on his body to the highest bidder. He's even set up his own website, tattmetoo.com . For the low price of $200 per square inch, you can make it happen....
NFL's "Concerned" About Players Flashing Gang Signs
Gangsta players beware: The NFL isn't going to tolerate your confusing finger gestures anymore. The league has stated they'll be cracking down on any "suspicious" hand gestures flashed by players during the game in an effort to eliminate the promotion of gang culture in the league....
Colts Fans Scalping Tickets to Free Tour of New Lucas-Oil Stadium
Hundreds of Indianapolis Colts fans lined up for free tickets to walk through the new Colts stadium. In a month. Now you can see why Indianapolis's advertising slogan is, "Like Detroit without the culture." Tickets to tour the stadium are going for as much as $75 online now. Some Colts fans were und...
Why Is Brett Favre Talking To This Woman?
The strange and seemingly unending saga of Brett Favre's un-retirement took another odd twist this afternoon, as Brett decided that the first person he would talk to about this whole mess is none other than Fox News talking blech Greta Van Susteren. Huh?...
Brett Favre Is A County-Wide Crisis, Telemarketing Goldmine
An email came into the Deadspin tip box yesterday with the subject "Packers robocalling residents about Favre", which said that Green Bay-area residents were getting polled via phone survey about what the Packers should do about The Number 4 Situation. It seemed a little farcical, but considering th...
Travis Henry Should Really Invest In Some Better Goldenseal
According to a clandestine "NFL source" former Denver Broncos' running back Travis Henry has once again tested positive for marijuana. Henry, if found guilty, will undoubtedly be suspended for a year after this latest infraction. Last year, he appealed a positive test and won, allowing him to be a v...
John McCain Gave up Steeler Linemen While Interrogated by Viet-Cong
In a further sign that neither candidate is going to give an inch of ground when it comes to doling out sporting bona fides in swing states, John McCain stepped up his wooing of Pittsburgh voters by discussing his affinity for their football team....
Matt Jones: The Cocaine Won't Make You Faster, Son
Jacksonville (LA?) Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones was busted in Arkansas for cocaine and marijuana possession early this morning. Jones, the former Razorback's quarterback who switched to wide receiver to help his NFL draft stock, was pinched last night along with a carload of other dudes in a sha...