nfl Page 952 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please, Please Be Quiet, Matt
We're far enough away from Arizona not to necessarily have our finger on the pulse of as many issues involving the Buzzsaw that we'd like, but we were heartened to see Matt Leinart totally comfortable with the job-sharing arrangement with Kurt Warner. He seemed happy, anyway, until Yahoo's Michael S...
Roger Goodell Doesn't Want You To Have Any Influence
One of the great things about going to an NFL game in person is that, perhaps more than any other sport, you really can affect the game. Not just through intimidation, but in a literal sense; if the other team can't hear the signals because you and 80,000 other maniacs are screaming your heads off, ...
Roll, Daunte, Roll
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
The Buzzsaw That Is Ken Whisenhunt
Because we can't exactly have you thinking we're unaware of what went on at the Pink Taco on Sunday ... a late night reminder after one of the most exciting sports days we can remember. And that is counting Buffalo. We'll talk tomorrow....
Matt Leinart Is Watching One Exciting Game
Steelers 7, Cardinals 7 — Coach Ken Whisenhunt, sure enough, found a time to use Kurt Warner in the game, which happened to be the fourth drive of the game, and he's been in ever since. His touchdown to Jeremy Urban tied the game. Now, if Warner is the best quarterback to run the 2-minute-drill, no-...
But Trent Edwards Holds No Touchdown Records
Bills 17, Jets 14 — The J.P. Losman era in Buffalo might go the way of William Henry Harrison after Trent Edwards' surprising 22-for-28, 234-yard performance. Jets fans are dismayed that their team lost, but encouraged that it was Chad Pennington's fault, since his last-ditch effort at the end the g...
Hoo Boy, Those Ravens Are Not Skilled At Football
Son of a Travis Henry, these Week 4 games are starting off boring. Let's check how each game stood at halftime, because that's how the other weekend guys were doing it, I think:...
Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......
It's An Exciting Time In The World Of Sports-Themed Beverages
As detailed yesterday, carbonated beverage lovers were overjoyed to see Jones Soda roll out five new exciting flavors based on the Seattle Seahawks, all based on things found in Holmgren's mustache. The flavors: Natural Field Turf Soda (featuring Josh Brown), Sports Cream Soda (featuring Matt Hassel...
Ookie Is No Dummy
Ladies and gentlepeople, we have finally figured out what we will do if we are ever convicted of a felony, other than "try to grow a mustache and move to Turks and Caicos." We're gonna make sure we smoke as much weed as possible, and then get caught....
Bring Your Umbrellas To Paul Brown Stadium On Monday
There might be no better metaphor for the beginning of the Cincinnati Bengals' season than the fact that fans have been noticing bird poop in their beers....
Drink Up, Sports Fans
In the tradition of Michael Jordan (or Derek Jeter) cologne comes a flavor of Jones Soda that's designed to make your mouth a-water: It's perspiration soda....
Drew's Guide To The Proper NFL Viewing Position
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazi...
Brett Favre, On The Edge Of History
This week, in Minnesota, Brett Favre is likely to break Dan Marino's record for most career touchdowns, notching 421. This will give him a one-touchdown lead and, of course, a one-Super Bowl lead. But we always forget: Favre is on the precipice of another record Sunday as well....
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry...
BREAKING: Ron Mexico Smokes Pot!
So this is gonna blow your mind, folks: A couple of weeks ago, when matters might have been somewhat stressful for Michael Vick, he ... tested positive for marijuana. You think you know a guy....
The Norv Turner Hall Of Horrors
We hate to harp on this whole Norv Turner thing — really! — but when we were looking for a picture to go with MJD's Smorgasbord column this week, we knew we wouldn't have to search long to find an anguished photo of Norv. We think it was already on every other site anyway....