nfl Page 970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pretty Good. Prettaaaaay, Prettaaaaay, Pretty Good.
So you know the gruesome Jets draft video from yesterday? Well, to make sure the Jets have no more draft disasters, they're bringing in the big guns ... they're bringing in Larry David....
Welcome To The Island Of Doomed Men
The NFL Draft is just more than two weeks away, and because we're slowly warming ourselves up to the prospect of watching Chris Berman read names off a Teleprompter for six hours, we thought we'd bring back one of our favorite videos, which pops up around this time every year....
So It Goes, Drew Bledsoe
So not to be a big freaking cliche or anything — "My Gosh, the inexorable forward march of time sure does strike me, as someone in my mid-twenties/early-thirties, as something that is unique and particular only to me!" — but seriously, though: The fact that Drew Bledsoe retired yesterday legitimatel...
Get Out Your Planner: NFL Schedule Is Out
This is Pac Man Jones. He won't be taking part in any NFL games this year, which makes him similar to you, or us, or popular musician C.C. DeVille. He will be able to watch, though, and as of this afternoon, he knows when he'll be able to watch which games. That's right: As you might have noticed fr...
Chris Henry's Scheduling Conflict
The Sports Oasis brings up an excellent point regarding the suspension of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry: How much money he will lose will depend entirely on when the Bengals' bye week is....
Bill Romanowski Just Can't Quit You
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That's why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:...
Pac Man Jones Will Take A Year Off
This might ultimately be for the betterment of the league, but man, it's gonna make 2007 considerably less fun around here....
Michael Irvin, Assaulting Contractors
We haven't had a good Michael Irvin story in a while, and, frankly, we've missed him. (He's John Rocker's buddy, after all.) Anyway, this is a relatively minor key for him, but we've been so forlorn without him that we're including it, regardless: Irvin has been accused of assaulting a contractor....
Look At All The Dumb Athletes!
Every year, as the NFL Draft approaches, the results of each player's Wunderlic scores inevitably leak out. This appears to serve only one purpose: To allow us to mock athletes for being so stupid. This is, we believe, a perfectly healthy aspect of being a sports fan; we are so cognizant of our phys...
Devin Hester Is Virtually Fast
If you're like us — and Lord help you if you are — much of the summer is spent counting down the days until the new version of Madden is released. (This year, the Buzzsaw is gonna be good! Leinart to Boldin ... Buzzsaw!) Even though the NFL Draft still hasn't happened, they've already released some ...
Someone In The Reuters Photo Department Is Having Some Fun
Last week, the Denver Broncos held open auditions for women to join their cheerleading team. Two hundred and fifty women tried out for 34 slots. One of them was this woman....
The Sad Aftereffect Of The Chinese NFL Cancellation
As we mentioned yesterday, the schedule NFL game between the Patriots and Seahawks in China has been canceled. That's good news for each team's players and coaches, whom we suspect had little desire to break from training camp and head to freaking China....
Reggie Bush To See Fewer Boobs In 2007
If you've already heard about it you're probably still reeling; as for us, it's going to take some time to get over the news that Reggie Bush has been banned from the Playboy Mansion. Why, you ask? The source says only that the ban was "non-Playmate related."...
Ricky Williams Wants Back In Your Life
The ball is rolling for Ricky Williams to get himself back in the National Football League. His agent, Leigh Steinberg, claims that Ricky's in the best shape of his life (though I don't know if an agent has ever said that a client of his wasn't in the best shape of his life) and has passed all of hi...
Ironically, Goebbels Actually Liked The Jets
Not a good sign for the New York Giants: Tom Coughlin is beginning to crack under the pressure, and it's not even April. Get those season tickets now, fans! From the New York Daily News:...
Prepare For 33 Percent Less Joe Buck
It looks like those who feel you have just the right amount of Joe Buck in your life are about to be disappointed: He's not hosting the FOX pregame this upcoming football season....
The Real, True Story Of Pac Man
We're mostly wary of little sketch comedy gimmicks online, but we have to say, we did enjoy this video reimagining of the circumstances of Pac Man Jones' life and times. They go for the obvious joke, from the beginning ... but that doesn't change the fact that the image of a big puffy yellow Pac Man...
Tony Mandarich Demands That You Say Cheese
Wondering what Tony Mandarich has been been up to lately? We know you have. Well, thanks to the investigative work of Steroid Nation, we know: He's running his own photography business....
The 49ers Welcome You To Pleasantville
In a perfect world, the 49ers would have a sparkling new stadium near Candlestick Point. There would be parks and open markets and milling shoppers, and ample free parking for all. Also, Alex Smith would never, ever be sacked. These are things as San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom sees them, and he's ...
Peyton Manning Much Funnier Than Anyone Could Have Guessed
MJD mentioned the Peyton Manning-hosted "Saturday Night Live" yesterday, but we finally sat down to watch it today. We have to say: We were actually quite impressed. He's sure as hell a lot funnier than Michael Jordan was on there, and definitely superior to Dane freaking Cook....