nfl Page 972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Prepare For 33 Percent Less Joe Buck
It looks like those who feel you have just the right amount of Joe Buck in your life are about to be disappointed: He's not hosting the FOX pregame this upcoming football season....
The Real, True Story Of Pac Man
We're mostly wary of little sketch comedy gimmicks online, but we have to say, we did enjoy this video reimagining of the circumstances of Pac Man Jones' life and times. They go for the obvious joke, from the beginning ... but that doesn't change the fact that the image of a big puffy yellow Pac Man...
Tony Mandarich Demands That You Say Cheese
Wondering what Tony Mandarich has been been up to lately? We know you have. Well, thanks to the investigative work of Steroid Nation, we know: He's running his own photography business....
The 49ers Welcome You To Pleasantville
In a perfect world, the 49ers would have a sparkling new stadium near Candlestick Point. There would be parks and open markets and milling shoppers, and ample free parking for all. Also, Alex Smith would never, ever be sacked. These are things as San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom sees them, and he's ...
Peyton Manning Much Funnier Than Anyone Could Have Guessed
MJD mentioned the Peyton Manning-hosted "Saturday Night Live" yesterday, but we finally sat down to watch it today. We have to say: We were actually quite impressed. He's sure as hell a lot funnier than Michael Jordan was on there, and definitely superior to Dane freaking Cook....
Your Long National Nightmare Is Over
Over the weekend, Pro Football Talk reported that everybody's favorite mathematician Joe Theismann was likely out as Monday Night Football "analyst," with his likely replacement being the infinitely superior Ron Jaworski. Today, The New York Times gets in on the act, confirming it with ESPN sources....
You Know What Michael Vick Needs? Jeff George
With Matt Schaub having been traded to Houston, the Atlanta Falcons are in need of a backup quarterback. With Jeff George not having been good enough to break through the deep and talented Raiders QB depth chart last year, Jeff George needs a job. Sometimes, in situations like these, karma has a way...
Michael Vick, Police Can't Agree On Whether Weed Is Classified As "Jewelry"
Ron Mexico would like to make it clear to you that the whole water bottle at the airport incident ... he wasn't hiding weed, he was hiding bling....
Joey Porter Might Have Gotten Himself Whupped
So you know how Joey Porter supposedly leveled Levi Jones during a fight in Vegas? Well, some more details on the fight have come out, and it's beginning to look like Joey didn't get the best of the exchange....
We Wouldn't Expect Him To Spend Much More Time In Jacksonville
A few months ago, Jaguars offensive lineman Khalif Barnes was arrested and charged with a DUI. Turns out, the video of his arrested has hit the Internets, and it's safe to say he doesn't exactly feel all that comfortable in Jacksonville....
Writing Up "Assault" In Joey Porter's Contract Was A Grand Idea
You might have thought Joey Porter punching guys in a Vegas hotel would be bad for his team. (Or calling opposing players "fags." Or attacking you with his dogs. Or pretty much anything else Joey Porter does.)...
Tony Dungy Makes It Clear That Only Straights Should Have Unhappy Marriages
Much debate last month surrounded lovable Colts coach Tony Dungy's appearance at an event for an anti-gay-marriage group (among other things) and whether or not Dungy would come out (so to speak) and endorse the group's platform. Well, he has. He "embraces" a ban on same-sex marriage....
The NFL Chases Down Itself
So here's a fun game. Last month, a Brooklyn law professor posted the NFL's "express written consent" copyright notice thing to YouTube. The NFL, being the NFL, asked YouTube to take it down, which is kind of funny, actually....
We'd Recommend Not Playing Blackjack With Joey Porter
When you put Joey Porter in the same room with a Cincinnati Bengal, in Las Vegas, no less, this is probably destined to happen...
Dodge Chargers Are Not Free, Gabe Watson
The Arizona Cardinals are loaded with nefarious characters these days. They've got womanizing quarterbacks, prostitute-soliciting assistant coaches, and now, a defensive lineman who sticks his old high school coach with his car payments....
Tank Johnson Needs The Squirrel Master
Tank Johnson, the troubled Chicago Bears defensive lineman who was recently sentenced to 120 days in prison, is having problems making new friends in his new home. He's in protective custody, which means he's not having any contact with other inmates. When he first came into booking, though, Tank wa...
He Might Want To Lay Off The Nickname In Jail
So, for all of those who were losing faith in the justice system, you might this morning find yourself with some faith: Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson is going to serve some jail time for the probation violation that involved all the, you know, artillery. A judge in Chicago sentenced him to 12...
We'd Suggest The Scrambling Eggs, As Long As The Owner Wears Proper Handgear
We're just gonna lay this one out there: Michael Vick has a restaurant, and, sadly, they do not serve Mexican food....
Jerramy Stevens Is A Man On The Move
All told, we think if you're going to get busted for a DUI — with weed in your car — it's probably the best time to do it is not when you're trying to snatch a new free agent contract. But hey, Jerramy Stevens has always marched to the drum of his own beater;...