When The Bengals Make A Pick, He Gets A Bengals Hat And An Ankle Bracelet

With the 18th pick of the NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select Leon Hall, CB, Michigan. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it.

The Bengals aren't really drafting. This is a police sting operation. You know how they invite all the parking offenders to the precinct to take part in a boat raffle? You know they make squeaky-voiced female FBI agents pretend to be 13 years old to lure perverts? Well, federal prosecutors reasoned that anyone the Bengals would select is clearly guilty of something. They are waiting in the wings for Hall with handcuffs.

Don't believe it? Well, what about Hall's manufactured speed? Experienced scouts know that Hall's 4.29 40-time is manufactured speed. Apparently, Hall has been in the lab cooking with cough syrup. Get ready to throw away the keys, boys.

Actually, "manufactured speed" means that Hall went to one of those clinics where they work on Combine skills, not football skills. Hall won't be running with a giant parachute on his back when he's playing for the Bengals. That's Chad Johnson's job. Hall may have track star speed, but Dwayne Jarrett used him as a launch pad in the Rose Bowl. Hall has a tendency to get burned like an albino lifeguard by top receivers, but he doesn't let his mistakes go to his head. Johnson will no doubt test the kid's mettle in practice, and Hall will adapt quickly.

Burnings aside, Hall is a great tackler and a good bump-and-run defender who didn't get a lot of safety help at Michigan . And personality wise, the kid is aces.