nfl Page 990 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....
![Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f47w4gdsv3vjpg.jpg)
Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?
Just to make sure we remain the gutter-obsessed sewer rats we are, it's time for some fart humor....
Still Wading In The T.O. Morass
You know, it's strange how, after the frenzy of Terrell Owens-related madness yesterday, it all seems to have died down today. It never fails to bewilder us that once an athlete denies something, mainstream reporters just kind of say, "OK, well, must not be true, then!" and move on. There seems to b...
"Thick In The Britches"
This is Bob Whitfield, veteran left tackle for the New York Giants. According to his bio, he has five children, ages ranging from 19 to 5. He seems like an upstanding member of society. And when NJ.com asked him, apropos of nothing, "whose backfield would you like to see in motion?" he had quite an ...
You Can Lean On Him
So yesterday, it came out that San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested by the DEA for shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas. The substance, which mixed with "either soft drinks or drugs" (two entities we wouldn't imagine to be so easily interchangable), creates something called "l...
Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....
The Human Being Vs. The Publicist
A legitimate question as we tie a big ribbon on this whole Terrell Owens suicide business for the day, which, we have to say, ESPN has done a rather outstanding — if predictably overdone — job of covering today:...
Hunter Smith Is No Insult Comic
If you want your T.O. live press conference updates — and boy, DON'T YOU — you can find them right here....
Getting You Up To Speed On Mr. Owens
Terrell Owens is expected to speak at 1:30 p.m. ET in front of his house, though probably not lifting weights. We'll be live-blogging that, because we're "alive" and a "blogger," after the jump....
Another Morning Terrell Owens Update
As we deal with the sustained brilliance of our comment section — seriously; you guys are absolutely setting the planet on fire this morning. The genius displayed on the T.O. story is out of control — we turn again to the attempted suicide of Terrell Owens. We have a feeling this might be the type o...
T.O. Tried To Kill Himself
So you know how Terrell Owens was rushed to the hospital last night, because of an "allergic reaction" to some pain medication? Well, a Dallas police report says it wasn't a bad reaction at all: It was a suicide attempt....
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Watch, As Odell Thurman's Career Evaporates
In case you haven't quite had your fill of the Odell Thurman EXTREME DUI story, the Cincinnati Enquirer has your back this morning: Exclusive video of Odell's actual arrest....
Madden Curse Soon To Attack Rest Of Humanity
You know, all told, Ray Lewis never actually suffered from the Madden Curse: People always forget nothing happened to him that year....
One Perfect Night In New Orleans. Let's Try To Make Sure There Are More
It's difficult to find much to make fun of from last night in New Orleans, a kinda shocking 23-3 Saints victory over the Falcons, except for maybe this lady's sign, which we've been looking at all morning with little more than the foggiest idea of what she's trying to say. (Yes ... Katrina was jus...
Welcome Back To New Orleans
It is somewhat of a relief, as viewed in the Spike Lee's amazing When The Levees Broke — still available on HBO On Demand, still highly recommended, if you have 4 1/2 hours to kill — to learn that as horrible as the circumstances were in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina last year, they weren...
Henry Vomits, But Isn't Arrested. Kudos, Chris!
We know we touched on this earlier today, but it really does warrant its own post....
Over There, Belichick Should Break Up LOTS Of Marriages
If you're a Patriots fan who just hasn't had every opportunity and vessel through which to express your undying devotion, worry not: You can now wear Tom Brady's jersey in Chinese....
It's Christmas In Dallas!
So DC Sports Bog alerted us to some old Dallas Cowboys videos dug up by outstanding Cowboys blog Know Your Dallas Cowboys, and they're really amazing....
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...