nfl Page 993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Steelers Know Their Bread And Butter
For all those who felt the infamous Ben Roethlisberger "Drink Like A Champion" pictures were some sort of bad publicity for the quarterback and the Steelers, we point out this display at a suburban Pittsburgh mall....
Your Thursday Morning NFL Roundup
"So, like, I text messaged Terrell to wish him well and everything after his overdose thingy, and he never texts me back. No biggie, right? But now he says he never got it! Like, I'm so sure! It's incredible th ... oh wait, that's Ashley on the other line. Be back in a sec."...
We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...
Philadelphia Prepares For Battle ... And It's Never Too Early
Apropos of nothing, we've decided to attach a picture of Donovan McNabb doing shots to this post. Forgive us....
For Those Who Like Their Sports Bouncy And Confusing
The sport is bossaball, and it's sweeping the nation (what nation, we have no idea). On second thought, judging from this video, it's possibly Brazil; because there's about a zillion shots of female bikini dancing and relatively little bossaball footage. From the bossaball web site:...
NFL Roundup: Orton Should Be Getting To Bed Right About ... Now
• So we actually stayed up and watched the full scale of the Bears' dismantling of the defending NFC champions last night, and we're pretty sure nobody's going to beat Chicago for quite a while. It actually hurt us to watch them hurt the Seahawks; everyone looked bigger, stronger, faster, meaner. ...
NFL Week Four, Update #4
• New England just ass-romped the Bengals. This was not something I had anticipated. The Patriots offense was struggling, their secondary was hurting, and I thought Carson Palmer and the Bengals wide receivers would take advantage. 'Twas not the case. Laurence Maroney gashed them all day, Corey Di...
NFL Week Four, Update #3
• The Raiders are confusing me. Maybe it's just because they're playing the Browns, but they're rolling. They got a touchdown from some damn linebacker who ran for a touchdown after Rueben Droughns politely handed him the football. And Lamont Jordan, who I actually thought passed away in the offse...
NFL Week Four, Update #2
• The Jets damn near pulled off the greatest play in the history of sports. It was one of those, "Hey, let's keep lateralling the ball and see what happens" deals that always ends in miserable failure, but this one last about seven minutes and made a hell of a lot of progress before finally peteri...
NFL Week Four, Update #1
• Drew Bledsoe and Terry Glenn have hooked up for two touchdowns, sending the message to Terrell Owens, "You know, we'd be fine if you did kill yourself. Owens himself has caught 3 balls for 73 yards, though he did drop a pass in the endzone. Kim Etheridge ran immediately onto the field and claime...
NFL Week Four Preview: Hello, Young Man
• Cowboys @ Titans. In one game, we've got the NFL starting debut of Vince Young, and the possible appearance of a guy who may or may have made an effort to feel the sweet release of death earlier in the week. How much more could you possibly need? When the Titans made the announcement, I wonder if ...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
First, your NFL Scoreboard....
And It's Like Nothing Ever Happened ... Presto!
So, now that the 9-1-1 call from publicist extraordinare Kim Etheredge has been made public and now that the police have ruled the incident an "accidental overdose," well, everything's back to normal now, right?...
Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....
![Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f47w4gdsv3vjpg.jpg)
Hey, Did Somebody [Cramp] In Here?
Just to make sure we remain the gutter-obsessed sewer rats we are, it's time for some fart humor....
Still Wading In The T.O. Morass
You know, it's strange how, after the frenzy of Terrell Owens-related madness yesterday, it all seems to have died down today. It never fails to bewilder us that once an athlete denies something, mainstream reporters just kind of say, "OK, well, must not be true, then!" and move on. There seems to b...
"Thick In The Britches"
This is Bob Whitfield, veteran left tackle for the New York Giants. According to his bio, he has five children, ages ranging from 19 to 5. He seems like an upstanding member of society. And when NJ.com asked him, apropos of nothing, "whose backfield would you like to see in motion?" he had quite an ...
You Can Lean On Him
So yesterday, it came out that San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested by the DEA for shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas. The substance, which mixed with "either soft drinks or drugs" (two entities we wouldn't imagine to be so easily interchangable), creates something called "l...
Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....
The Human Being Vs. The Publicist
A legitimate question as we tie a big ribbon on this whole Terrell Owens suicide business for the day, which, we have to say, ESPN has done a rather outstanding — if predictably overdone — job of covering today:...