nfl Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Corporations Fighting Over Our Cash
Despite our rather obvious and unapologetic Midwest Bias, we do actually live in Manhattan. That means, of course, we pay triple market value for an apartment the size of your closet, we're constantly showing family members from back home the same four landmarks and, most important, we have never wa...
Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...
Could This Be The NFL's First Lady?
Yesterday, the NFL announced its final five candidates to succeed Paul Tagliabue as NFL commissioner. The list includes the favorite, Roger Goodell, who started as an intern in 1982, as well as lawyers and executives. Tagliabue is retiring in August....
Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...
Ixnay On The Ambling-Gay!
This week's winner of the Asshole Who Ruins Everything For Everyone award goes to Charles Humphrey....
Reggie Bush Finally Gives In To Fans With Lame Signs
It seems like Reggie Bush's holdout garnered a lot of attention for a something that ended up lasting a grand total of two days. Many of you had more contentious negotations while trying to get laid this weekend. And as soon as he scores his first touchdown, no one's even going to remember that ther...
There's A Reason For Vernon Davis's Schoolgirl Smile
There's been a lot of those "first round draft pick signs a contract" stories in the past couple of days; the kinds of stories you only care about if they involve someone on your team, or if the negotiations get particularly ugly. But one such deal did stand out yesterday. Former Maryland TE Verno...
Willie Roaf Opts For Retirement
If you're an undergrad sociology student at UC-Irvine, you're about to get a big-ass classmate. Chiefs tackle Willie Roaf announced his retirement yesterday, as well as his intentions of going back to school to get the sociology degree he didn't finish at Louisiana Tech....
The Peter King-KSK Standoff
The rockers over at Kissing Suzy Kobler would like to let you know that they are reasonable people. All they want out of life is to make a few humorous comments about sports, go home to their families and perhaps enjoy a Krispy Kreme. Or three. But even reasonable people can be pushed to the edge, a...
Look, They Have Fun, Difficult To Understand Stats In Football Too!
It was a happy day at Deadspin World Headquarters yesterday. Our copy of Pro Football Prospectus arrived....
Honestly, They Better Sign Isaiah Rider Soon
Admit it: You wouldn't be surprised, at this point, if Carson Palmer was nailed for sticking up a Dairy Queen somewhere just outside Blue Ash, would you?...
Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...
A Look At The Sunday NBC Crew
Earlier today, new NBC broadcaster — it feels weird to type that; we haven't quite adjusted to the NFL being back on NBC — John Madden went to visit Oakland Raiders camp and hang out with his former player Art Shell, the new coach (again) of the Raiders. Since it's a slow, non-sexual-harassing day...
How To Ruin Fantasy Football
It is just us, or is everyone pumping fantasy football a couple of weeks too early this year? Both Sports Illustrated and ESPN: The Magazine have already come out with their fantasy season previews — SI's included a cover photo of a guy who might not actually play for his team next year — even thoug...
Emmitt Smith Encourages You To Keep Looking At Him
We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests — other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" — is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some do...
A Bengal Gets The Taser
In their ongoing quest to become Blazers East, the Cincinnati Bengals have seen another member of their football team get arrested. And DT Matthias Askew has done it in grand style, somehow managing to get tasered after a parking violation. I am applauding politely....
Ben Roethlisberger, Pure Country
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, fresh off his apparent facial reconstruction that has somehow made him much more normal looking (and vaguely lobotomized) than he did before his motorcycle accident, is going to appear in a country music video. That in itself is no big deal. It's...
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...
Men, Keep Your Wives From Bill Belichick
OK, so it turns out that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is quite the swordsman....
Kellen Winslow, Soldier (In Pads, And With Free School And A Big Contract And Little Chance Of Actually, You Know, Being Killed)
So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldie...