nil Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Nick Foles Expected To Bring His Talents And Enormous Dong To Jacksonville
The Jacksonville Jaguars are working hard to move on from the limp efforts of Blake Bortles and will reportedly sign Nick Foles and his giant schlong once free agency opens up on March 13. The belief is that the team’s AFC Championship appearance two seasons ago was just the tip of their potential ...
Nick Foles And His Dong Are Now Free To Go Elsewhere
Eagles general manager Howie Roseman made no attempt to yank anyone’s chain during his presser today at the NFL combine in Indianapolis: Nick Foles will not be given the franchise tag, which means Nick Foles and his reportedly gigantic hog will hit free agency. There was nothing soft about Foles’s s...
Poop Johnson Is Back In The News
No, his first name is not really “Poop.” It’s Cory. That doesn’t take anything away from how this transaction was delivered, though:...
JaMychal Green Wrecks Ersan Ilyasova And His Wasted Theatrics With A Thunderous Dunk<em></em>
The Memphis Grizzlies were never really in their Wednesday night loss to the Milwaukee Bucks, falling behind by double digits in the first quarter, later trailing by 31 points, and eventually yanking their starters at around the 25-minute threshold. The only positives to take away from the game, for...
Brandon McCarthy Will Retire With The Nicest Stats In Baseball
Pitcher Brandon McCarthy, who has played for seven teams over 13 major-league seasons, said in August that this year with the Atlanta Braves would be his last. He will retire on a high note....
Jay Cutler Is The Breakout TV Character Of 2018
Jay Cutler is good at eating pussy. He wasn’t always, but he is now....
Nick Kyrgios Got Fined €15,000 For Pretending To Jerk Off With A Water Bottle
Tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios got caught pleasuring (then drinking?) his water bottle on the sideline during his straight-set loss to Marin Cilic at the Queen’s Club Championships in London on Saturday. The mimed masturbation was a playful little gesture, fairly subtle but also in clear full view of a...
These Minor League Baseball Team Name Nominees Sound Like Bathroom Euphemisms
A minor league baseball team in Amarillo, Texas is selecting a new name among five candidates. Local news outlet Myhighplains.com noted that the choices “all sound like the makings of a popular country song.” Yes, but only if that song were about doing a doo-doo, because that’s what these options ca...
Joe Theismann On The Skins Re-Signing Kirk Cousins: "It Would've Been A Big Nut To Swallow"
Quarterback Kirk Cousins and the Skins had been at a contract impasse for quite some time, but that ended today with Cousins signing with the Vikings for a reported three years and $84 million. Former Washington QB Joe Theismann went on D.C. sports radio to discuss why the team let Cousins walk, and...
NFL Makes Combine Pressers A Less Crappy Experience<em></em>
INDIANAPOLIS — Having Podium 1 framed by indicators for the shitter seemed appropriate and on brand. The NFL has since had a change of heart, however. Deadspin will continue to update this developing story as circumstances are warranted....
NFL Sets Up Combine Pressers In The Most Appropriate Spot
INDIANAPOLIS — Greetings from the bowels of the Indiana Convention Center, where the media sausage is churning its way through the 2018 NFL scouting combine. If you just got here and can’t find the shitter, make your way toward Podium 1, where Colts general manager Chris Ballard (pictured) has wrapp...
Italian Club Pissed Off At Player Pee Allegations
Giovanni Liberti, a player with the fourth-tier Italian soccer club Turris, is in hot, yellowish water with Serie D officials. According to the Associated Press, the league suspended Liberti for five matches after he “urinated in the direction of the away section, making obscene and vulgar gestures,...
Northern Illinois Capitalizes On Nebraska's Charitable Offense To Pull Upset In Lincoln
Northern Illinois used a pair of pick-sixes to leap out ahead of Nebraska, and used another interception to seal the end of an upset over the Cornhuskers today in Lincoln....
Danilo Gallinari Breaks His Hand In Fight During International Friendly
Danilo Gallinari, newly of the Los Angeles Clippers, has reportedly broken his hand after landing a looping right hand in a fight during an exhibition game today:...
Wizards Get A Championship Fight Song Ahead Of Game 7<em></em>
Over the weekend, Nils Lofgren posted a snippet of “Wizards Fever,” a rough remake of his classic “Bullets Fever,” the greatest sports theme song our nation’s capital has ever known....
The Most Powerful Man In Chess Is Maybe A Lunatic
The sports world is replete with notably wacky commissioners and leaders, and for all the wild shit that the Sepp Blatters and Oleg Tinkovs of the world get up to, the World Chess Federation’s president probably has them all beat. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov has been the top dog at FIDE since 1995, and for m...
An NWSL Strike Might Be The USWNT's Best Leverage
The U.S. women’s national team is in the middle of the 2017 SheBelieves Cup, a three-game tournament held in the U.S., and the team’s only major international competition of the year. They beat Germany 1-0 on Wednesday in Pennsylvania, play England on Saturday in New Jersey, and face France in Tuesd...
Philadelphia 76ers Trade For Yet Another Center
Ask for the dang trades and ye shall receive....
Joe Panik Walkoff Double Keeps The Giants Alive
Joe Panik’s 13th-inning double to drive in Brandon Crawford gave the Giants a 6-5 win over the Cubs on Monday, keeping San Francisco’s season alive. The even-year cockroaches now have won 10 straight games while facing elimination....