nit Page 180 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

José Mourinho Is Still Talking That Good Shit
Look, I don’t know how much time he has left as the manager of Manchester United, and so I am begging you to enjoy José Mourinho in full Meltdown Mode while you still can. It really is one of the greatest shows in sports....

Prisoners Of War Can't Be Treated Like Most Prisoners<em></em>
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Whenever José Mourinho Faces Pressure, He Brings Up A World Crisis
On Monday, Manchester United manager José Mourinho stormed out of a press conference after his squad fell to Tottenham, 3-0. “3-0,” he said. “But also mean, three Premierships, and I’ve won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together.” He kept saying “respect” as he walked off stage....

Lucas Moura Cooking Chris Smalling Is A Metaphor For Tottenham's Spanking Of Man United
It takes a firm lashing of José Mourinho’s asscheeks to get him to walk into a press conference and opine about international humanitarian crises before storming out of the room while doing an unironic Birdman impression, and that’s exactly what Tottenham administered to Mourinho’s Manchester United...

Jose Mourinho Storms Out Of Press Conference, Appears To Be Losing It
Tottenham crushed Manchester United with a comprehensive 3-0 victory at Old Trafford this afternoon, handing the Red Devils their second loss out of the first three Premier League games. United manager Jose Mourinho—who’s coming off a tumultuous offseason and has a tendency to see his clubs implode ...

DeAndre Yedlin Assists On Newcastle Equalizer (Yay), Scores Chelsea Game-Winner (Oof)
DeAndre Yedlin—just too old to be considered one of the American wonderkids, but still a promising youth—played a crucial role in Chelsea’s 2–1 victory over Newcastle Sunday, scoring the decisive goal in the 88th minute to punctuate a dominant Chelsea performance. Tragically, Yedlin plays for Newcas...

Dimitar Berbatov's Arrogant, Curse-Filled Breakdowns Of His Old Goals Are Wonderful
Many players have scored more goals than Dimitar Berbatov, but few have scored as many flatly stunning ones, or done so with the flair and insouciance that made nearly every one of his goals legitimately preposterous. It was preposterous that any human body could, as a simple matter of physics, exec...
![Richie Incognito Arrested For Threatening Funeral Home Employee While Making Arrangements For Father [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xq1e1mkeusgy53aug70z.jpg)
Richie Incognito Arrested For Threatening Funeral Home Employee While Making Arrangements For Father [Update]
Free agent lineman Richie Incognito was arrested yesterday in Arizona by Scottsdale Police after reportedly threatening employees of a funeral home. Incognito’s father died over the weekend, and according to Pro Football Talk and TMZ, Incognito caused a disturbance at Messingers Funeral Home yesterd...

Paul Pogba's Agent Shit-Talks Man United Legend, And Things Are Looking Bad
Following Manchester United for the couple years, it’s hard to combat the sense that Paul Pogba isn’t very happy at the club right now. But for as up-and-down as his return to England has been, it seems like right now—with his manager criticizing him and the team playing poorly and unadventurously a...

Only José Mourinho Can Save Manchester United From Himself
If he weren’t such a hemorrhoidal asshole, you could be inclined to feel somewhat sorry for José Mourinho....

D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy. ...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-bes...

Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...

Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...
![Richie Incognito Is Lashing Out At The Vikings [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/foj3a7fnit6g8acpf6je.jpg)
Richie Incognito Is Lashing Out At The Vikings [Update]
Offensive lineman and noted racist bully Richie Incognito—who has since the end of the last NFL season retired, un-retired, been released by the Bills, and had a public meltdown at a gym—got very upset on Twitter today because Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer denied that Minnesota was interested in si...

The Best Comedy Bits Going Are Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa's Interviews
If you’ve found yourself confused about why those familiar with Argentine mad genius manager Marcelo Bielsa were giddy with excitement when he got the Leeds United job earlier this summer, just watch the bizarre, hilarious, Google Translate-in-the-flesh pre- and post-match interviews he gave to Sky ...

And Now, James Franklin's Dark Purple Butt
Penn State head coach James Franklin spoke at Penn State Media Day about, among other things, the experience of taking all his players paintballing for a recent team outing. This may not have been a great idea for a person whose job it is to push these competitive young men to endure exhaustion and ...

When War Leaves Behind The Sick And Wounded, These Are The Laws That Save Them
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

The Line Between Combatants And Civilians Has Never Been So Thin
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....

Ex-NFLer Colton Underwood Learns The Rules Of The <i>Bachelorette</i> Fantasy Suite Fuck, Gets Sent Home
Team, it’s been a good run. Well, actually, it’s been a run full of trials and tribulations. Quite frankly, I had higher hopes for us. But part of being a good coach is knowing when to accept defeat and that’s what happened during Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, in which Colton—former NF...