nit Page 193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ahh... You Touch My Tra-La-La
John Calipari was clearly feelin’ it during the Wildcats’ big 82-77 win over Georgia today....

Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad<em></em>
Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the poin...

NCAA To Experiment With Playing Quarter Rules While Still Playing 20-Minute Halves
For decades, 20-minute halves containing frequent back-to-back timeouts due to mandatory TV breaks have been a mainstay in American households during the month of March. This year, the NCAA will begin experimenting with ways to do away with this tradition....
![Jerry Sandusky's Son Charged With Child Sexual Assault [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/frjzqdiilhvv5jd18y3j.jpg)
Jerry Sandusky's Son Charged With Child Sexual Assault [Update]
Jeffrey Sandusky, the 41-year-old adopted son of former Penn State football coach and convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky, has been charged with sexually assaulting a minor, among other counts....

The USMNT Can Party Now
Attention, attention: The United States Men’s National Team is cool again, just in time for spring break. Bruce Arena has released the team from the authoritarian hold of Jürgen Klinsmann and he’s ready to burn this motherfucker down....

Canadian Super Bowl Broadcaster Forced To Air Stupid American Ads For Free<em></em>
This morning, a spokesman for Bell Media announced that the company would be laying off an undisclosed amount of workers at over two dozen locations. With over 6,000 employees, Bell is Canada’s largest media company. They are the parent company of Canadian sports giant TSN and they have broadcast pa...

Bricklayer Leads Semi-Pro Sutton United To FA Cup Fifth Round
Non-league Sutton United continued its miraculous run through the FA Cup with a 1-0 win over Championship side Leeds United thanks to a penalty scored by team captain Jamie Collins, who earns a living with his day job as a bricklayer....

Granit Xhaka Interviewed By Police After Allegedly Calling Airport Worker A "Fucking White Bitch"
Arsenal midfielder Granit Xhaka was in London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday to see off his girlfriend’s brother on a flight to Germany. Things didn’t go as planned, though, and when the brother learned that he would miss his flight, Xhaka allegedly blew up on an employee of the airport, calling the w...

Wayne Rooney Becomes Manchester United's All-Time Top Scorer With Equalizer In Stoppage Time
Wayne Rooney became Manchester United’s all-time leading goal scorer in dramatic fashion today, with an equalizer in stoppage time against Stoke City today: ...

FA Cup Vape Life
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No, Canada
The U.S. beat Canada 3-1 at the World Juniors today to take Group B, and in doing so earned the raising of the Stars And Stripes. Alas, Canada was unable to complete that task either—and in doing so provided us one final cap-off of what was a stellar 2016 for this country....

Henrikh Mkhitaryan Was Offside But Who Cares Because This Goal Was Dope<em></em>
Henrikh Mkhitaryan has only gotten a handful of Premier League starts this season, a fact that has given United fans good reason to grumble. After you see the goal he scored against Sunderland today, you’ll understand why they want him on the pitch more often....

José Mourinho Compliments Chelsea For Playing Like A José Mourinho Team
As José Mourinho has made abundantly clear recently, the Special One is a little peeved by the double standard to which he’s subjected by the media and public. When his teams play defensively-sound soccer it’s criticized, called pragmatic and ugly; when other teams do so, it’s lauded as being smart ...

Soccer Player, Not Allowed To Give Away Shirt, Takes Off Shorts To Give Fan Instead
After Leeds United’s 1-0 win today over Brentford, defender Gaetano Berardi was approached by a fan asking for his shirt. Giving away a game-worn shirt is apparently frowned upon by Leeds (as is also the case for Manchester United, whose players were told earlier this year that giving fans their kit...

There Are Plenty Of Reasons To Get Rid Of Baseball's Rookie Hazing
MLB ratified a new collective bargaining agreement today that, among other changes, banned rooking hazing, including the longstanding tradition of veteran ballplayers making rookies dress like women. Many other forms of hazing were banned—making people drink too much alcohol, coercing people to brea...

Hey! Look! Someone Cares About Europa League!
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Manchester United Might Play On A Pitch That's More Ice Than Grass
Soccer is an all-season sport that is often played on snowy pitches in the dead of winter. It is not, however, traditionally played on a frozen tundra that, when you step on it, makes sounds like you’re walking on a frozen pond. And yet that may be the case for Manchester United’s away trip to Ukrai...

José Mourinho Is Not Good At Losing<em></em><em></em>
Before José Mourinho even opens his mouth in the video above, fresh off United’s 1-1 draw against Everton on Sunday, you can already tell he is completely exasperated. Drawing a match United were leading for much of the game is frustrating enough, but stepping out in front of the famously prickly an...

Gus Johnson Calls Penn State Win "A Milestone In The Healing Process"
As time expired on Penn State’s win over Wisconsin in tonight’s Big Ten championship game, Fox announcer Gus Johnson tried to capture the gravity of the moment—and the Nittany Lions’ first conference title since 2008—but managed to utter some regrettable words about it being a “milestone in the heal...

ESPN: Richie Incognito Is An Iroquois War God
Richie Incognito, the big Buffalo Bills guard whose name you most likely recognize for its association with him being about as awful as a person can be, is still the same guy he’s always been. He’s the guy who called former teammate Jonathan Martin a “half-nigger piece of shit”; who settled a civil ...