Man United Exploit Teenage Boner For Victory

Poor, poor, 18-year-old Mile Svilar made his debut for Benfica today in a game against one of the scariest teams in England. He became the youngest-ever Champions League keeper in the process, but more to the point, he made himself a target for Manchester United’s more experienced scorers.

Svilar was exploited by fellow soccerteen Marcus Rashford for the match’s lone goal, after the United prodigy continually tried to confuse him on set pieces. The successful blow landed on a long free kick, which Svilar was, in fact, able to catch. The problem, though, was that while Svilar tried to hold the ball as far away from him as he could, the lovable teen goofball was standing in the goal when he caught it:

For their part, United must have felt some remorse for their cruelty, as Romelu Lukaku was seen consoling Svilar after the match.

Admittedly it’s a lot easier to be gracious after you’ve already ruined a kid.