nit Page 249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Would Anyone Like To Own The Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
The Buccaneers are so sad this season that the local UFL team says they can beat them. Maybe owner Malcolm Glazer agrees, because according to Tampa sports talk radio station WDAE, he's putting the team up for sale....
I-TEAM Assemble! Assignment: Sports Fella
Going to the Bill Simmons book signing in NYC tonight? Pictures, stories, and other nonsense welcome. We'd do it ourselves, but ... um. Yeah. [Photo via]...
Penn State Gear A Little Jesus-y For Some
If you squint really hard, the design on this PSU t-shirt may resemble a cross. And just like that — controversy!...
Former Penn State Player Suing School After Rape Charges Dropped
Two years ago, Penn State running back Austin Scott was arrested and kicked off the football team when he was accused of rape. Seven months later, the case was dropped, but not soon enough to save his NFL career. Oops!...
Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....
Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...
Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...
Finally, Objective Proof That Referees Favor Manchester United
Imagine if every time the Yankees lost, the umps decided to play a 10th inning. That's what's happening in England, with (obviously) Man U being the beneficiary of some super-shady timekeeping....
You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....
From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Gynecology Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....
How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....
And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...
Deadspin I-Team: The Drill That Dare Not Speak Its Name
The Dallas Morning News has one of those quirky-training-regimen stories today that bloom annually during NFL training camp and which usually involve yoga or interpretive dance or whatever. This one, however, is about an unprintably named tire-flipping drill. I-Team, assemble!...
If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....
Where In The World Was Matthew Stafford?
We asked where these photos of Matthew Stafford's summer vacation were taken, and boy, did we get some answers. It's just too bad they all contradicted each other....
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
Chris Berman: The Next Cronkite
In the wake of Walter Cronkite's passing, the Washington Post asked a few famous personages to "suggest public figures who meet the Cronkite standard of trustworthiness." The list is pretty much as you'd expect. Oprah, Bill Moyers, Chris Berman....
The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....