nit Page 250 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

ESPN.com Editors Can't Appreciate A Good Manly Kiss
It's not so much that the image on the front page of Soccernet is Gary Neville warmly congratulating Paul Scholes on his game-winner. It's more that the original filename was "nevillegay" (since been changed to "nevillekiss"). [ESPN.com]...

No Signs Of Intelligent Life At Yankee Stadium
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Man United’s European Exit Recreated Using Lego!
And they say that children can't concentrate any more....

How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...

Penn State Kicker Drinks Like A Sorority Girl
Anthony Fera, PSU's sophomore kicker, was cited for underage drinking. His beverage of choice? Cruzan Mango Rum. Easy there, tiger. [Post-Gazette]...

Jeff Samardzija: "Great Lover/Friend," Says An Ex
Not every tip we've received about Jeff Samardzija has been negative. He has his defenders, too, and some pretty dedicated ones. So in the interests of fair play and equal time here's a very thoughtful defense of "The Shark."...

I-Team Report: Jeff Samardzija May Or May Not Have Attempted To Sex Ladies
Believe it or not, we actually have some updates about Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija's "sad" Daytona past. And if they are to believed...well, they're pretty boring. Hey, that's just how (some) investigative journalism gets done....

How Did Jeff Samardzija Spend His Daytona Nights?
Jeff Samardzija's Major League Baseball career has been less than stellar (2010 ERA: 108.00!), but if sponsored internet smack is to be believed, his minor league career (specifically, the "off the field late night activities" part) was quite interesting indeed....

Your Tiger Woods <em>Vanity Fair</em> Preview Recap: Sex In Cars And Subway Chicken Wraps Do Not A Girlfriend Make
May's Vanity Fair will feature Mark Seal's in-depth account of the Tiger Woods Saga. Seal interviewed four of Woods' mistresses and several of his handlers. After the jump, what can you expect to learn when when the mag hits newsstands....

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...

Cockpunch Night In The NIT
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...

Newcastle Signs Peter Parker, Goblin Attacks Up 32%
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Squash Players Are Just The Worst
Have you seen the trash-talking squash player video? It so matches the intensity of football or basketball that I almost wish those sports had never been invented so I wouldn't have to see squash players acting like such goons....

JuCo Coach Goes After Refs, Gets Cuffed
A coach and one of his players were arrested while confronting referees after a loss. Women's junior college basketball fever: catch it!...