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Noah Syndergaard Used To Be A Self-Described "Chunkster"
There aren’t many athletes who have a more apt nickname than Noah Syndergaard, who has been dubbed “Thor” because he truly looks like a Norse god and is likely a descendant of real-life Vikings. But before he became a hulking Norseman who throws 100 mph, Syndergaard looked like any other kid....

Michigan AD Rips Fans Who Mocked Fumbling Punter In Open Letter
After Michigan lost yesterday to Michigan State on a wild, fumbled snap, punter Blake O’Neill was the subject of death threats. This is both depressing and unsurprising, the sort of standard nonsense all athletes are subject to on social media after high profile errors....

Larry David Fulfills Destiny, Plays Bernie Sanders In <i>SNL</i> Cold Open
Before you tweeted it Tuesday night, Saturday Night Live was thinking it: yeah, Senator Bernie Sanders does resemble Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator Larry David! So David turned up on tonight’s SNL cold open, managing the rare feat of overshadowing an Alec Baldwin cameo. We urge you all in...

Guillermo del Toro's<i> Crimson Peak </i>Is Best Watched On Mute
1. Crimson Peak is a movie that’s all windup and no pitch. It requires a patience of you that I’m not sure it necessarily earns, and a level of patience it doesn’t feel obliged to reward. It’s not a slog; the movie always looks fantastic, and it has enough earthly delights to string you along its gr...

Ecstatic Mets Fan Gives Terry Collins A Big Ol' Smooch
You’re a middle-aged Mets fan who just watched his team advance to the NLCS, and Mets manager Terry Collins is coming your way. You’re probably pretty drunk. Do you play it cool? Of course not....

Spielberg's <i>Bridge of Spies</i> Is A Compelling Cold War Drama Your Granddad Will Love
1. Bridge of Spies is effective, efficient, compelling, smart and absorbing throughout, and I still couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. I think we’re starting to lose the Spielberg who was a risk-taker. The guy did exist, you know. After he won his last Oscar for directing Saving Private R...

May The Cubs Never Stop Mashing These Dingers
This is a screenshot of a Cubs fan losing his mind right after Kyle Schwarber hit a ball so goddamn hard that it exited our atmosphere and now lies sprinkled amongst the stars like cosmic dust. Schwarber’s climactic tater was the Cubs’ third of the game, which when combined with the six-homer assaul...

This Child With A Chase "Butt-Ley" Sign Is A Good Mets Fan
We like to bust on the Mets and their fans quite a bit around here, but even we can’t deny the brilliance of this small Mets fan:...

Report: Chase Utley Will Be Available For The Rest Of The NLDS
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that the appeal hearing for Chase Utley’s two-game suspension will take place next Monday, meaning that he will be available to play in Game 4 of the NLDS, as well as Game 5 if the Dodgers win tonight. ...

Cops: Fight Outside Dodgers Stadium Leaves One With Critical Injuries
According to Los Angeles police, a fight that broke out in the Dodgers Stadium parking lot after Friday night’s NLDS game between the Mets and Dodgers has left one fan with critical injuries....

The Sucky New Peter Pan Reboot Oughta Fly Straight Into The Toilet
1. It is difficult not to approach Pan with a deep, weary sigh. I am fortunate that people pay me to write about movies, and it’s something that no one should ever take for granted, particularly in this day (year? decade? quarter-century?) of media turmoil. Every assignment is a gift. One of the man...

Danny Boyle Movies, Ranked
Danny Boyle is one of the most quietly adventurous filmmakers working today. He’ll do a science-fiction movie, then a period piece, then a Tarantino-type thriller, then a romantic comedy, then a conventional biopic, and he won’t so much as blink once. He is an auteur of the old-fashioned sort: His m...

The Quiet Century: How Osama Bin Laden Destroyed Baseball
Reader: As you undoubtedly know, the play-offs will soon be upon us. These are heady days; days that call for reflection, reflection upon both our future and, yes, reader, our past. But before I unveil yet another world-historical revelation, I would like to take a moment to offer my readers a clari...

Jose Fernandez Teases Evan Longoria After Giving Up A Home Run
Consider this friendly exchange between Jose Fernandez and Evan Longoria a change of pace from Jonathan Papelbon’s Fightin’ Around The League tour. The Rays third baseman absolutely socked an offering from the Marlins pitcher in the first inning of Thursday’s game, and in the next inning, Fernandez ...

Royals Broadcaster Perfectly Predicts Mike Moustakas's Home Run
With Mike Moustakas facing an 0-2 count in Wednesday night’s game, Fox Sports Kansas City announcer Ryan Lefebvre claimed that the Royals third baseman would not only get a curveball from White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana, but crush it for a home run into Kansas City’s bullpen. “He’s gonna sit on a ha...

Let's Deal With That Nasty Shower Curtain Liner
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Get Your Ass Off Mars: <i>The Martian </i>Is A Thrilling, Crowd-Pleasing Science Problem
1. The Martian will make you feel better about America, about the goodness of your fellow man, about the limitless possibilities of human achievement. That it’s also rooted in hard science (or at least a movie’s version of hard science, which is close enough), that all its surprises and accomplishme...

A U.S. Appeals Court Just Did The NCAA A Big Favor
The US Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has upheld a lower court’s decision in Ed O’Bannon v. NCAA, which ruled that the NCAA’s larger amateurism rules are in violation of anti-trust laws. The appeals court also, though, vacated a key portion of the lower court’s ruling, and that makes it hard to coun...

<i>The Walk</i> Is A Cloying, Uneven Caper With An Absolutely Amazing Final Act
The feat that made Philippe Petit legendary—his tightrope walk between the two towers of the World Trade Center on August 7, 1974—was both brave and insane. What made 2008’s Man on Wire, the Oscar-winning documentary about his achievement, so striking was that despite full access to Petit and his co...

The Idiotic <i>Stonewall </i>Is A Bigger Disaster Than Roland Emmerich's Actual Disaster Movies
1. Stonewall misses the point of the Stonewall riots in almost the exact same way that Pearl Harbor missed the point of Pearl Harbor. That’s not a comparison I make lightly. Pearl Harbor turned one of the most seminal moments in American history into the pretext for a lame story about two white schm...