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The New <i>Mission: Impossible </i>Is Almost Better Than The New <i>Mad Max</i>
1. I think if the Mission: Impossible franchise starred anyone other than Tom Cruise, we’d regard all these movies as classics. All five have been excellent in their own ways, but unlike any other franchise I can think of, each sequel is better than its predecessor. Each has a different director, an...
The Lifeless <i>Vacation </i>Reboot Is All Bowels And No Heart
1. The original 1983 National Lampoon’s Vacation is a classic because deep down, it’s essentially a sweet movie. The screenplay was written by John Hughes—based off the short story “Vacation ’58,” which he wrote about a family trip to Disneyworld, and which ultimately got him on the staff of Nationa...
<i>Pixels </i>Is Adam Sandler's Laziest Movie Yet, Somehow
1. Pixels is a perfectly acceptable idea for a movie that has unfortunately been Sandlerized. Based off a famous short film from 2010 that you can watch below—and you probably should just watch now, for free, thereby saving yourself the trip to the theater—it revolves around aliens who receive a tim...
Beer Smackdown! Samuel Adams Boston Lager Vs. Brooklyn Lager
When a husky, bearded American tells you he likes craft beer, he is most likely referring to craft ale. While high-end lager has recently started to make modest inroads (particularly pilsner), the good-beer renaissance of the past three decades has revolved almost exclusively around ales....
Even Paul Rudd Can't Save <i>Ant-Man</i>
1. If you’re going to make a movie about a superhero whose superpower is being able to shrink to the size of an ant and then command ants to do his bidding, it’s fair to say that having a good handle of the ridiculous will come in handy. This is an Ant-Man! That’s the dumbest superhero power ever! H...
Marshawn Lynch May Be The Best Kickball Player Ever
Here we have some video of Marshawn Lynch playing kickball at a charity barbecue event in Oakland. And holy hell, I have absolutely no clue where Lynch’s first kick ends up! He kicks the ball so hard it appears to vanish into thin air. On his second kick, Lynch opted for a more traditional home run,...
Report: Marshawn Lynch's Biopic Won't Be Released Because It's So Bad
The internet was treated in February to roughly four minutes of sloppily edited footage featuring Marshawn Lynch for what appeared to be a biopic based on the Seahawks running back. (Watch it here.) Those four minutes are apparently all the public will get, because Family First is reportedly never s...
Grierson & Leitch's Best Movies Of 2015 (Well, So Far)
As of last week, we are halfway through 2015. As usual, most of the year’s “prestige” movies aren’t out yet, but that doesn’t mean that the past six months didn’t have some terrific films. To make sure they aren’t forgotten come year-end-list time, Grierson & Leitch today present our favorite movies...
Jon Lester Collects First Career Hit
Congratulations to scrappy youngster Jon Lester, who collected his first career hit tonight off of former Red Sox teammate John Lackey. Lester’s hit came in the 67th official regular season at-bat of his career. Earlier this season he set the dubious record for most career plate appearances without ...
Here Are Your MLB All-Star Game Starters
The MLB announced starters for the All-Star game while you were watching the first half of the Women’s World Cup Final. These are the starting lineups as determined by the fan vote: ...
Freddy Adu Scored The Saddest Free Kick You'll Ever See
Remember Freddy Adu? Remember the guy that was supposed to save American soccer? Four months ago he signed with Kuopion Palloseura, in the Finnish first division. They’re the eleventh team the still-somehow-only-26-year-old Adu has played for: D.C. United —> Real Salt Lake —> Benfica —> AS Monaco —>...
<i>Terminator Genisys </i>Is Like A Loud, Lousy, Super-Confusing Cover Band
1. Terminator Genisys seems specifically designed to give you a headache. It’s a reboot, a sequel, a reimagining, and a rehash of the previous Terminator films all churned up and spackled together, a film that conjures up all your memories of those movies only to eradicate them with little explanati...
Kevin Love Is Staying With The Cavaliers
In a post on the Players’ Tribune, free-agent forward Kevin Love announced that he will be returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers this season. ...
Marshawn Lynch Dives Into "End Zone" Full Of Skittles On <i>Conan</i>
The notably media-reluctant Marshawn Lynch has been popping up on TV a bit more in the offseason, and was Conan O’Brien’s guest tonight as the late night talker set up an “end zone” full of Skittles for the star running back to dive backward into. He even did his signature dick grab....
LeBron Opts Out Of Cavs Contract, But He Probably Isn't Going Anywhere
The idea of LeBron James signing with a different subpar team every season and dragging them to the Finals would make for an entertaining project, but that probably won’t happen, even though James reportedly decided to decline his player option with the Cavaliers....
The Boston Bruins Are Just Doing Whatever The Hell They Want
New Bruins general manager Don Sweeney definitely got aggressive with some moves before tonight’s NHL draft. The end goal of those actions is still unclear, though....
Angry Umpire Demands That Jon Lester Fight Him
Yesterday’s game between the Dodgers and Cubs was delayed for several minutes when home plate umpire Andy Fletcher decided to go full Ump Show in the second inning, stalking Cubs starter Jon Lester back to the mound in order to establish his authority or whatever....
Fuck This Bear: <i>Ted 2</i>,<i> </i>Reviewed
1. How sincere is Sincere Seth MacFarlane? I know I’m a dope for even asking—associating a genuine emotion with such a sniggering clown is a sucker’s bet—but I really do want to know. Because Ted 2 has moments, lots of moments, that it seems to play completely straight, as if we are watching an actu...