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The Stanley Cup Begins Its Summer Job As A Firefighter
Yes. Awesome....

We've Found The Lass Responsible For The Lone Amstel Light On The Bruins' $156,000 Bar Tab
When the Bruins threw down with an epic body count at their Stanley Cup celebrations at Foxwoods, the world was drawn not to the six-figure bottle of champagne: Armand de Brignac is so played out. Instead it was the solo Amstel Light, a beacon of moderation and taste in a storm of crapulence. ...

Sasha Vujacic Cheers On His Fiancée, Maria Sharapova, Like An Ass, Too
Tomorrow's New York Times has a feature on Maria Sharapova and Sasha Vujacic, sports' biggest power couple since Shelden Williams tied the knot with that lady. You probably remember Vujacic from the 2008 NBA Finals, when he and his hair nearly derailed Boston's title chase. He's since been exiled to...

Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe
Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically."...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Prodigies
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week's theme, in honor of Rory McIlroy and Kyrie Irving, is sports prodigies. A note to those two: enjoy this moment. If these stories are any indication, there's a slight chance it won't last....

The NBA Draft: Where Love Happens?
Jan Vesely, a 6-11 swingman from the Czech Republic, was selected sixth overall by the Washington Wizards in last night's NBA Draft. For any 21-year-old, the moment would have been special. You're on national television in a brand new suit, and you're about to become a millionaire. But Vesely and ...

The Brilliant Legal Mind Behind Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Brief
We had to ask Mark Cuban for comment on today's legal filing, which consisted of a photo of the Mavericks celebrating a title. It's a dagger of a brief in the face of a suit accusing him of mismanaging the team, and it shuts down any comebacks. But Cuban deflected credit, telling us "it was all the ...

Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days
And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess....

Old Man McKeon Has Already Benched Hanley Ramirez For Showing Up Late
Because the specials at the Bob Evans in Hialeah end at 4:30, and, well, you know. [Palm Beach Post]...

Bruins Owner Used Today's Stanley Cup Parade To Rip On Cam Neely For Never Winning One As A Player
There are two things to consider about this snippet from Jeremy Jacobs's speech at today's celebration in Boston: 1) Why didn't George Steinbrenner use World Series parades in 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2009 to remind the world that Donnie Baseball doesn't have a ring and 2) Did team President Sea...

Lionel Messi Attended The Sex And Alcohol Party For The Video Games
Lionel Messi has never really known a scandal in his young life, and so it is about time that the Argentinian tabloids create one for him: Libre reported this week that the 23-year-old had attended a party with "sexo, alcohol y cumbia." ESPN's Off The Ball blog has Messi's reaction to the accusation...

Why We Shouldn't Blame Roberto "LeBrongo"
More people than ever before watched game seven of the Stanley Cup finals Wednesday night, and that's a good thing for hockey. Both the league and fans hoping for growth should delight that the NHL had its best American TV rating in 38 years even though one of the teams came from Canada....

Meet Vancouver's Golden Riot Couple
"An avid traveller and aspiring stand-up comedian, the 29-year-old Mr. Jones has been in Canada on a 12-month work visa since last fall and has worked in the hospitality industry in Vancouver. He and Ms. Thomas are going on a trip to California soon and plan to move to Australia later this summer." ...

Dick Vitale Is Not The Dick Vitale That's Been Slandering Superintendent Nelson In <em>The Conway Daily Sun</em>
A few things to clear up, America: ESPN's Dick Vitale has never been to North Conway, New Hampshire, and he harbors no resentment for the Conway School District superintendent, Carl Nelson. This contention was at long last cleared up last week, when Lorraine Vitale did a standard Google search for h...

A Terrible Beauty Is Born
Your morning roundup for June 16. Happy Comp-Lit-Major Christmas, everyone! Amazing photo via Getty Images....

There Was The Dumb Drunk Portion Of The Vancouver Riots, And Then Things Got Sinister
At about the three-minute mark in this video, the band of drunks redirects its impotent rage onto a man (described in the YouTube video as a security guard) who tries to keep them from smashing the department store windows. I'm still trying to make sense of when a sports-related riot shifts from b...

They Rioted In Vancouver Last Night, Eh
Don't ever let it be said that the fine people of Vancouver don't care enough about, oh, whatever, who knows what leads you to burn things after losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. You just do....

The Bruins Won The Stanley Cup
Congratulations, Bruins and Bruins fans. The Cup matters....

Your Canucks/Bruins Game Seven Open Thread
Tonight marks the 16th Stanley Cup Finals series to go to a Game Seven. One of those games went to overtime. Canadian teams are 6-5 overall; one of the five represents the time the Canucks helped end the New York Rangers's half-century drought in 1994....

Luongo's Legacy: Not Tonight
There are two things you should know about Roberto Luongo's final game this season, besides the one thing you will remember....