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Fernley Coach May Lose Job Over Hart Situation
Even more fallout from the bizarre Kevin Hart puts-a-Cal-hat-on signing day sham: The Fernely High School fraudster's coach, Mark Hodges, may lose his job....

One Man's TV Nightmare Is Another's Comedy Gold
Of course, when you're struggling like this, it's always helpful to have a couple of smart-ass girls in the studio mocking you relentlessly....

A quick programming note: Going against my doctor's recommendations, I'm going to be live blogging both NFL games tonight. And probably the ones tomorrow, too. So please, don't socialize with your real friends tonight. They acted like dicks to you last weekend anyway. Behind your back. They told us....

The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....

Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...

It's Chris Farley Day
Stupid me; I wrote the tag "Todd has another heart attack" for About Last Night without even realizing that today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Chris Farley. Fortunately, 100 Percent Injury Rate was all over it, putting together a nice tribute post and a bunch of classic Farley clips. ...

In A Way, Aren't We All John Maine?
For years, we have been plagued by the scourge of John Maine impersonators. We have fallen prey to this ourselves; heck, just more than a month ago, we thought Maine had shown up at our door, asking not for a dress, but for candy. One would think we would have learned to have been more skeptical....

Zero Is The Loneliest Number
Gilbert Arenas will be lost to the Washington Wizards for three months. Official reason: knee surgery. But nowhere in the Wizards' press release will you find mention of Agent Zero's real disability. No amount of rehab will cure a broken heart. He writes about the breakup with his girlfriend on his ...

It's Important That You Know Bill Conlin's Compensation
We had a lot of fun with crotchety old Bill Conlin on Friday, but we had no idea how serious he was about this email business. Apparently, he's been firing off angry emails to random readers for weeks now....

Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All
At this point, the worst thing a "mainstream" reporter can do is make one of those dumb "I hate bloggers" comments. There's no upside to it; even if they're still an excellent reporter, they come across as crotchety, anachronistic and old. It's not really fair to them — it's not like bloggers are tr...

How Hillary Is Like Grandmama
There's another one of those presidential debates tonight — this one's the Democrats, their 592th — and as that race starts to veer toward the more interesting, MSNBC brings up a fun parallel: The candidates are just like early '90s basketball teams....

Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...

One Way To Sustain College Football Interest
We've purposely made the thumbnail picture as small as we can, because what follows, after the jump, from the Kentucky-Florida game this weekend, is disturbing and Not Safe For Work. There. You have been warned....

Brandon Lloyd Thinks Troy Aikman Listens To Coldplay
You might have heard about this by now, but just in case: It appears former Illini and current Washington Redskin Brandon Lloyd is taking his radio tips from Skip Bayless. That is to say: He's accusing Troy Aikman of being gay on the public airwaves....

Eric Byrnes Does Not Rock
What they're saying out in The Matrix about the Rockies' 6-4 National League Championship Series win over the Diamondbacks on Monday, which gave Colorado the NL pennant ......

Rockies Fans Have Earned It, History Or Not
Of all the photos we came across from Coors Field last night, we think this one is our favorite. Not because it reminds us of a similar experience, but because we think it's the only appropriate reaction to what the Rockies have done over the last month. This guy has probably never been happier, th...

Your National League Champion Colorado Rockies
It seems surreal just to type it, but it's true: The Colorado Rockies are heading to the World Series. We shouldn't try to explain it. We'll just say this: We think the Rockies could probably beat the Patriots right now....