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Marshawn Lynch Can Never Be Accused Of Not Keeping Things Real
Marshawn Lynch has had a tough off-season, with that whole hit-and-run allegation hanging over his head, it's surprising he's yet to give some of his fans the updates on his Yardbarker blog. (Possible working titles: "Gettin' Ready 4 'Da Clink", "WASSUP WIT DAT LADY RUNNIN' INTO MA' WHIP")....

Bill Conlin's Sensitivity Once Again Called Into Question
Bill Conlin, Philadelphia Daily News columnist, surf enthusiast, and, well, Deadspin contributor, has been suspended from his television stint on Philly Comcast's Daily News Live show (pretty much Philly's version of ESPN) pending further review, after he made some comments on air that some viewers ...

The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

Loving That Stanley Cup
As is abundantly clear around here, we're hardly the biggest hockey experts, but we're still human, which means we really love the Stanley Cup Trophy. So rarely is any piece of hardware treated with such reverence; heck, in baseball, they try to hump the damn trophy....

Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...

Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...

Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....

The Bus Needs Directions to the Stanley Cup Finals
The Deadspin Stanley Cup Finals Preview is brought to you by the five former Mouseketeers at Melt Your Face Off. And no, neither Britney nor Lindsay would give them the time of day....

Jon Lester Is Unbreakable
From Victor Conte and Barry Bonds to Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens, baseball has given us every reason in the world lately to be cynical, and yet we are not. The reason for that became evident once again on Monday night in Boston, when Jon Lester — who had beaten cancer just over a year ago — thre...

About Last Night
What you missed while watching the topless news ... • NBA: The crowd down at Cheers are still celebrating this one ... except for Norm, who's in the crapper. Celtics 97, Cavaliers 92. • NHL: Bow before our flightless, herring-breathed overlords. Penguins 6, Flyers 0. • Auto racing: I misunderstood ....

Ryan Leaf Cleans Out The Attic Of Tearful Regret
Was it really 10 years ago that the Indianapolis Colts made the fateful decision to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf in the NFL draft? To mark the occasion, Leaf is showing off his No. 16 Colts jersey — yep, one such exists — which he found while rummaging through some personal belongings recentl...

Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...

Hawks Exit Stage Left
The Atlanta Hawks gave their fans plenty to cheer about with three home wins against the Celtics, but they were finally finished off this afternoon. Boston continued their home dominance with 99-65 curb-stomping, although it could have been much worse. The win sends them into the second round again...

About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...

Media Approval Ratings: Dan Le Batard
Dan Le Batard still writes columns occasionally. You might miss them, but they're out there. But mostly, yeah, he's a TV and radio guy. Who sometimes wears funny hats....

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...

Surprisingly, Alcohol May Have Been Involved
If it wasn't for those screens in the outfield at Wrigley, fat drunken Cubs fans would be flopping onto the warning track like tuna on the deck of a Japanese fishing boat. "We caught another one, Lou!" I loved it when they used the gaffe hook to haul him back in....