nl Page 204 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Playoff Pants Party: Diamondbacks Vs. Cubs
We will confess, being who we are, we find ourselves cheering against the Cubs in this series. This is not because we hate the Cubs; we do not. It is because Cardinals fans have become accustomed to the natural order of matters, and that natural order requires the Cubs to have not won the World Ser...
Playoff Pants Party: Phillies Vs. Rockies
The best part about the playoffs is that every team can, legitimately, be considered a "team of destiny." The only team last year that probably didn't have a claim as a "team of destiny" going into the playoffs was the team who won the World Series....
Welcome Back, Byron
Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing...
Larry Johnson's Bewildering Denial
So, what do we know about Chiefs running back Larry Johnson? He's probably a little overworked, he went through a nasty contract battle in the offseason and he's best pals with Jay-Z. So when we listen to his the big alleged Larry Johnson anti-Chiefs rant that's all the rage this morning, we are bew...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
Dance, Marshall Fella, Dance
Last night, in Huntington, W.Va., the Marshall football team hosted a Women's Clinic, meant, apparently, to explain to feeble minded babymakers the basic concepts of football so that they will understand when to leave the room, when to leave the house and when to just bring more beer. It's not easy...
Osama Bin Drinkin' Is More Like It
"Hi, it's me again sports fans. Just to prove how many different kinds of crazy we are here here in the cave, we have now called for the deaths of decadent sexpots David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry. Also, Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy have been added to the list. Act now, for these eter...
Special Weekend Football Foodie
Over at Ladies, we've started a series called the "Friday Football Foodie" which centers on the third best aspect of football weekends, (behind the games themselves and gambling, respectively), which is the massive amount of eating and drinking you can do while hanging out with your friends. It is t...
And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....
Barry Bonds Is Taking Curt Schilling Deep
We might not get our Ron Mexico trial, but there's plenty of potentially awesome litigation that could come down the pipeline. It appears that Barry Bonds might take on Curt Schilling ... in the courtroom....
What The Hell Are The Bleachers There For Then?
You know, you'd think a job as an assistant general manager of a minor league baseball team would be a cool gig, one with people who get it, man, you know? Apparently, society is evolving far too slowly for Ray Zerba....
Our Rick Ankiel Weekend
It really has been bizarre to watch the reaction to Rick Ankiel's triumphant return to St. Louis as a power-hitting outfielder. We understand that it's an inspiring story — obviously — but it's still odd to see a guy we've been quietly stalking following for seven years now suddenly leading newscast...
Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way
We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...
Another Demographic Infuriated By ESPN
We are definitively not NASCAR experts, which takes away one of ours — and many sports fans' — favorite pastimes: Making fun of ESPN coverage of sporting events. Fortunately, the NASCAR diehards are taking care of that for us ... and they're stomping mad this morning....
Some Inspiring News For A Change, OK?
Forgive me for skipping the lovefest that is Bonds vs. Aaron today (no homers, Giants lose to Braves if you must know). All things being equal, I would have much rather attended Boston's 6-2 win over the Indians at Jacobs Field, because Jon Lester started for the Sox, went six innings and earned the...
Why Go Outside When You Can Watch Television?
• Now — Golf: The Open Championship [ABC] • 1:10 — Movie: Little Giants [HBO Family] • 2:30 — Extreme: AST Dew Tour presents The Right Guard Open [NBC] • 3:00 — Women's Golf: HSBC World Match Play Championships Quarterfinal Round [CBS] • 3:30 — MLB: New York Mets at Los Angeles Dodgers [FOX] • 4:00 ...
Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...