nl Page 205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
Dance, Marshall Fella, Dance
Last night, in Huntington, W.Va., the Marshall football team hosted a Women's Clinic, meant, apparently, to explain to feeble minded babymakers the basic concepts of football so that they will understand when to leave the room, when to leave the house and when to just bring more beer. It's not easy...
Osama Bin Drinkin' Is More Like It
"Hi, it's me again sports fans. Just to prove how many different kinds of crazy we are here here in the cave, we have now called for the deaths of decadent sexpots David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry. Also, Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy have been added to the list. Act now, for these eter...
Special Weekend Football Foodie
Over at Ladies, we've started a series called the "Friday Football Foodie" which centers on the third best aspect of football weekends, (behind the games themselves and gambling, respectively), which is the massive amount of eating and drinking you can do while hanging out with your friends. It is t...
And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....
Barry Bonds Is Taking Curt Schilling Deep
We might not get our Ron Mexico trial, but there's plenty of potentially awesome litigation that could come down the pipeline. It appears that Barry Bonds might take on Curt Schilling ... in the courtroom....
What The Hell Are The Bleachers There For Then?
You know, you'd think a job as an assistant general manager of a minor league baseball team would be a cool gig, one with people who get it, man, you know? Apparently, society is evolving far too slowly for Ray Zerba....
Our Rick Ankiel Weekend
It really has been bizarre to watch the reaction to Rick Ankiel's triumphant return to St. Louis as a power-hitting outfielder. We understand that it's an inspiring story — obviously — but it's still odd to see a guy we've been quietly stalking following for seven years now suddenly leading newscast...
Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way
We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...
Another Demographic Infuriated By ESPN
We are definitively not NASCAR experts, which takes away one of ours — and many sports fans' — favorite pastimes: Making fun of ESPN coverage of sporting events. Fortunately, the NASCAR diehards are taking care of that for us ... and they're stomping mad this morning....
Some Inspiring News For A Change, OK?
Forgive me for skipping the lovefest that is Bonds vs. Aaron today (no homers, Giants lose to Braves if you must know). All things being equal, I would have much rather attended Boston's 6-2 win over the Indians at Jacobs Field, because Jon Lester started for the Sox, went six innings and earned the...
Why Go Outside When You Can Watch Television?
• Now — Golf: The Open Championship [ABC] • 1:10 — Movie: Little Giants [HBO Family] • 2:30 — Extreme: AST Dew Tour presents The Right Guard Open [NBC] • 3:00 — Women's Golf: HSBC World Match Play Championships Quarterfinal Round [CBS] • 3:30 — MLB: New York Mets at Los Angeles Dodgers [FOX] • 4:00 ...
Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...
ESPN Is Just CRAWLING With Sexual Harassers
On his radio show Friday, ESPN fella Dan LeBatard, because he's out in Miami and apparently no one in Bristol listens out there, had a few choice words to say about the Woody Paige, "Cold Pizza" sexual harassment case. He called ESPN "filled with sexual harassment" and said "it's actually funny." An...
China Insists That Boston And Philly Are Grand Places For The Chinese
The NBA Draft is now just three days away, and since everybody knows how the first two picks are going down, the main intrigue — other than the usual sartorial speculation — involves the three Florida players and Chinese mystery Yi Jianlian. He's either Dirk Nowitzki or Wang Zhi-Zhi, and he's either...
Uh Oh, Canada Is Pissed
If you're like us, Thursday was Soccer Day at your house, as you refused to budge from in front of your TV while the U.S.-Canada match raged on. Also, you would only pass the dip with your feet. OK, we didn't watch a minute of it. But from what we understand, Canada thought it had the tying goal in ...
Ryan Leaf About To Be Immortalized On Digital Film
Six months ago, Football Outsiders told the tale of "Leaf: An Almost True Story," a mock-documentary about Ryan Leaf. Apparently, the movie has progressed a bit since then: It looks like it's going to be "released" in October....