old-people Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tom Brady Will Be 43 Next Season. History Tells Us That Doesn't Bode Well For Him
Opinion: Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback to ever play the game. Fact: Tom Brady will be 43 years old when he begins his 21st season later this year as a new member of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers....
Don Cherry Is Not Going To Let His Blood Feud With The Hurricanes Die That Easily
Back in February, Don Cherry took a brave stand against the encroaching forces of fun and entertainment that were descending upon the world of hockey led by the Carolina Hurricanes. He famously called the Hurricanes a “bunch of jerks” for the elaborate choreographed celebrations they’d perform after...
Don Cherry Whines Like An Old Pissbaby About The Carolina Hurricanes' Postgame Celebrations
Well, it was bound to happen eventually. The secret society of old, decrepit members of hockey media recently had a meeting and decided that Don Cherry would be the latest ancient asswipe to drone on about the Carolina Hurricanes and the team’s postgame celebrations. For those unaware, one of the m...
Phoenix Woman Dunks On Suns Owner Robert Sarver At City Council Meeting
The Phoenix City Council was supposed to vote Wednesday on a murky proposal to give Suns owner Robert Sarver $150 million in public money for arena renovations, but the formal vote was pushed back a month, in part because the plan, which is bad, would have failed. Citizens were still able to speak t...
I Took My 84-Year-Old Neighbor With The Only Good NBA Takes To A Pacers Game
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Iris Clawson, 84-year-old NBA superfan, spent some time on the trainer’s table....
I Am The Youngest Pro Shuffleboard Player In Florida
It’s 9:05 a.m. While my friends and pretty much everyone my own age are getting settled behind desks and spreadsheets and scheduling the day’s meetings, I’m surrounded by senior citizens, about to make the first shot of my pro season. It’s already 90 degrees and my bald head is pouring sweat into my...
Auld Lad At Ireland Bookie Shop Thwarts Three Armed Robbers
There may come a time in life when you’re 83 years old and posted up at the bookies in Glanmire, Ireland, enjoying the retired life. When three men wielding hammers and a gun barge in, what will you do? “You can either run and hide or take a stand and I took a stand,” was the answer that Denis O’Co...
Here Is A Legally Blind 96-Year-Old Great-Grandmother Who Would Kick Your Ass At Bowling
Kathryn Robinson will turn 97 years old next week. Also, according to this delightful Palm Beach Post report, she “lost all sight in one eye and most in the other,” making her legally blind. But that does not stop her from being a tremendous bowler:...
My 84-Year-Old Neighbor Has The Only Good NBA Takes
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Iris Clawson, who turns 85 this year, loves at least three things in life: puzzles, westerns, and the National Basketball Association. “Every night I turn on the TV to see if there are any games,” she says, and during the regular season she watches five or six a week....
Didier Drogba Does Retired Person Thing, Moves To Arizona
Former Chelsea legend Didier Drogba has been making the seemingly requisite rounds on the European star retirement circuit for a few years now. In 2012, he signed with Chinese Super League club Shanghai Shenhua; in 2013, still an able contributor, he joined Galatasaray for a spell; he returned to Ch...
Proud Hockey Grandpa Cries, Shovels Popcorn
Last week, the Colorado Avalanche signed their 2016 10th-overall pick Tyson Jost, a forward who spent the season at the University of North Dakota. Last night, in his fourth game, Jost scored his first career NHL goal against Minnesota....
Old Baseball Man Throws A Fastball, Is Very Cool
This great old guy is Choji Murata. He is 66 years old now, and was a pitcher in the Japanese professional league from 1968-1990. He was asked to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a recent game, and the old fella brought the heat:...
Want To Buy One Of Dan Gilbert's Bad Sport Coats?
There’s a post on StyleForum.net attempting to sell a few sport coats that allegedly belong to Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert. Have you ever wanted to dress like a leathery plutocrat? Well, if you’ve got $400 lying around, now is your chance....
Tiger Woods Posts Video Showing That Maybe He Isn't Old And Fucked Up
Tiger Woods is old, and depending how much stock you put into vaguely sourced Twitter reports, possibly too fucked up to play golf. But if this video Woods just posted to his Twitter account is to be believed, he is at least capable of swinging a golf club....
Cris Carter, Lame Dad Who Doesn't Know What Dabbing Is, Defines Dabbing
Okay, so we’re now into the third day of talking about Cam Newton dabbin’ on dem folk and this morning on Mike and Mike, Mike Greenberg and Cris Carter discussed what dabbing is. Greenberg, a lame dad, wasn’t familiar with the dance, so he asked Carter. Carter, himself a lame dad, wasn’t familiar wi...
Jerry Jones: Still Skeevily Groping Women?
It’s been awhile since we’ve had a chance to enjoy(?) some pictures of gross-ass Jerry Jones fondling women while desperately trying to work up a boner, but we can (apparently) do it again today thanks to some new pictures published by Terez Owens....
Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....
In The 1930s, Every Basketball Player Shot Like J.R. Smith
Today, the Illinois High School Association uploaded this here YouTube video of footage from the Illinois state basketball tournaments. Kinda cool. Now the wrinkle: the footage is from the Great Depression....
Vince Carter's Old-Man Dunk Makes Me Happy
Let's be honest, this probably isn't a bloggable dunk if it had been done by, say, Terrence Ross or Gerald Green. A good-but-not-great dunk is a little more noteworthy, however, when it's 37-year-old Vince Carter throwing it down, showing us all that sometimes—even when you're a shell of your former...
Brazilian Legends Pelé And Coutinho Are Terrible At (Video Game) Soccer
What do you get when you give maybe the greatest soccer player of all time and his old strike partner a couple controllers, a soccer video game, and point a camera at them? Pretty much the same level of cluelessness if I gave the same tools to my grandpa. But hey, at least they have fun with how muc...