old-people Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
55-Year-Old Former Clipper Also Dunks Over A Car
Your morning roundup for March 8, the day we didn't want to dine with zombies....
There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....
How San Francisco: Grandma Loves Baseball Team, BDSM
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
63-Year-Old Bill Lee Pitches, Wins
The Grizzled old hippie started a game for the Brockton Rox over the weekend. It was a publicity stunt, sure, but the old dude was still pretty good!...
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...
Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them....
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death."...
Old Folks And Steroids Is Apparently A Problem Now
PED use among our elderly athletes: are we overreacting to an appropriate degree, or could we stand to overreact even more?...
The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....
Joel Przybilla's Extended Family Is Not Cool With David Stern's Stupid Fines
Portland Trailblazer Joel Przybilla was fined $7,500 for this altercation with Tyson Chandler last week. For comment on this momentous national story, the media naturally turned to the 83-year-old grandmother of Przybilla's wife....
Cubs Chase Old Man Off Their Lawn
Awhile ago we told you the story of Leo Hildebrand, the 104-year-old Cubs fan whose one big wish was to throw out the first pitch for a game at Wrigley Field. Of course he'd probably need a relay man, and a diaper change to complete the task. But still, how could the Cubs deny the only person in Chi...
Overtime and Gambling Make Wonderful Bedfellows
Since there's way too much going on in the NFL for me to get caught up in wordy prose I'm going to switch it up to a bullet point format. It's creative, it's original, and nobody's ever done it before! • Why can't our country produce fifteen people capable of providing the play-by-play for football ...
You Must Be Above This Age To Ride This Ride
Four days ago, we might have been impressed by Mike Flynt, a 59-year-old man who lived his dream by playing a college football game over the weekend. But we are now in the age of Vinny....
And We Don't Care About the Old Folks, Talking 'Bout the Old Style Too
Notes on the teams Clare cares about from a day in baseball......
The New Jersey Nets Are Looking For GILFs
Usually with cheerleaders, the general rule of thumb is "the more jiggling, the better." With the group the New Jersey Nets are attempting to put together, though, the jiggling will be out of control and it will be 100% unwelcome....