olympics Page 111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Torch Relay Update: We're Runnin' In Circles Here!
OK, we have a new leader for the lamest Olympic Torch Relay idea yet: In Jakarta, Indonesia on Tuesday, torch runners did laps inside of a closed stadium in order to avoid protests. Yes, in this genius move, all the Indonesian torch runners took turns running in circles, as a crowd that was hand-pi...
An Update From The Deadspin Beijing Bureau
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
Jackie Chan Threatens To Chop Protesters, Make 'Rush Hour 4'
Leave it to diminutive Kung Fu dervish Jackie Chan to put this Olympic Torch protest thing into perspective. Chan, who will be a torchbearer when the relay comes to Beijing next week, says that he will deal harshly with any miscreants who might try to grab the flame from his tiny, powerful mitts....
Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry
Terrorist attack, or old Monty Python sketch? You be the judge: Several members of Australia's Olympic team were enjoying a batch of chocolate muffins at a Brisbane function last week, when some of the treats were found to have been sabotaged with paper clips. According to the Brisbane Times, a "maj...
Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....
Passing The Torch: Buenos Aires, You're Up
The beleaguered Olympic Torch is in Argentina today, where protesters in Buenos Aires say that they will be out in force, but will not try to snuff out the flame (wink, wink). Of course, crossing the Chinese government is one thing; but when you anger the McDonald's Corporation (pictured right), you...
Bang The Gong Slowly; Olympic Torch A No-Show In SF
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom didn't exactly win friends and influence people on Wednesday when he decided to play an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch. The relay's only North American stop was scheduled to be a happy, glorious people's jog from AT&T Park, down the waterfr...
It's Olympic Torch Relay Eve!
I love a good protest as much as the next person, but it seems that the bar has been set impossibly high for my home team, San Francisco. The Olympic Torch Relay makes its only North American appearance here on Wednesday, and because this is San Francisco, the world is expecting a protest on a grand...
Olympic Torch Relay Proceeding Smoothly So Far
The Olympic Torch passed through London and Paris on Sunday and earlier today, and was only snuffed out a few times by protesters: Once with a fire extinguisher. There were near riots and close to a hundred arrests. You know, I'm starting to suspect that some people don't like the Olympic Torch....
I'm Going To The Olympic Torch Relay ... What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors recently announced the route that the Olympic Torch will take through The City this coming Tuesday; a waterfront jaunt beginning at AT&T Park's McCovey Cove and ending at Justin Herman Plaza. Since I'm going to be in that neck of the woods anyway, I'm going to ...
The Deer Penis Diaries
Bad news for chronic deer penis ingesters planning on participating in the Beijing Olympics — you'll have to find something else to help you win a gold medal this year. Yes, deer penis and all sorts of other crazy Chinese voodoo medicines have officially been put on the no-no list by the Beijing IOC...
China Has Addressed Our Pooping Needs
Breaking news in the Beijing Olympics controversy: They're fixing the toilets. I've prayed for this day (dabs at eye with hankie). It makes sense. The Chinese government realized that if it wants the Olympics to run efficiently, then it needs to address this pressing issue. Simply put, American athl...
I'm Beginning To Sense Some Dissatisfaction With The Beijing Olympics
Here are a couple of other interpretations of the Olympic logo....
Um, Maybe We Should Just Skip The Olympic Torch This Time
Well, that didn't take long. They were still flicking the cigarette lighter in preparation of lighting the Olympic Torch today in Greece when a protester crashed the ceremony, with what looks like a pirate flag. A rousing start on the 84-day journey in which the torch will pass through several locat...
Introducing The Deadspin Beijing Bureau
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to announce that we have our own Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everyt...
The Beijing Olympics Will Be Scary Safe. But Safe. Or Scary.
The Chinese are pulling out all the stops to ensure that the impending Summer Olympics are free of one of those embarrassing international incidents that countries tend to try to avoid. Chief on their list, evening before reducing that pesky pollution problem that will probably kill all the athletes...
China Will Decide What Movies You Watch, Got It?
Oh China, what are we going to do with you? Mere hours after the first high-profile lawmaker called for a boycott of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies, the Chinese government responded to concerns about its record on human rights the way that you thought it would: By banning scary movies. Yep,...
Beijing Olympics To Be Devoid Of Dramatic Closeups, Mechanical Sharks
Bad news for all those who actually watch the opening and closing ceremonies at the Summer Olympics; Steven Spielberg has dropped out as director at the Beijing Games. Or actually he was going to be the "artistic adviser," whatever that means. All I know is that now my dream of watching Dennis Weave...
The China Olympics Should Only Involve Lions
How exciting are the Olympics going to be? Well, to entertain folks at the Chinese Zoo, lions are riding on the backs of horses. Only Barbaro could withstand such attacks....
The Chinese Olympic Swimsuits Are Here ... Yeesh
It's true: One man's sexy is another man's nightmare fuel. Mostly though, aren't these swimsuits just impractical? Aerodynamic they ain't. However, if you're swimming in the ocean I suppose the front there could be used to collect baby smelt and other small bait fish. China never fails to confuse me...