Tonight: Watch Young Girls Sacrifice Their Womanhood For A Shot At Something Shiny And Gold

Tonight is the showdown between the U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnastics team and China, which according to SI's E.M. Swift is the " marquee event" of the Summer Olympic games. I thought that was team handball? What's most interesting about tonight's contest is the underlying controversy, triggered the always shifty gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi, who said the Chinese team is entirely made up of 10-year-old ringers. Given the shenanigans China has pulled so far with the fireworks and the too-ugly-for-television little girl singer, should we be that surprised if these little Chinese angels leaping around tonight have also been created in some government-sanctioned lab experiment keeping them "16" forever? If the first Chinese competitor hits the uneven bars and explodes into a plume of fuschia-colored dust, we'll know for sure. But enjoy the show! Be back tomorrow for more Olympic trials, tribulations and other stuff. 谢谢Deadspin您持续的支持。 Keys To The U.S.-China Gymnastics Finals [SI] Beijing Beat: Why Gymnastics' New Scoring System Is Less Than Perfect [Pop And Politics]